laura pannack's blog

Image of the week.. collaborated mistakes..

2012-01-26T13:17:00.000-08:00

Sooo my interest to go back to my roots of roaming with a camera ready (but not nagging) has become a more frequent recent habit. I'm really embracing the way the experience of a walk is largely determined by the company I choose to keep..or lose.

Walking alone has so many advantages and it can be refreshing and liberating, it provides a sense of relief and control. Equally the company of another individual can ensure the walk will be entertaining regardless of the journey and encounters.

What I have found particularly interesting is the discovery of how different people affect walks in different ways. Who are more decisive, fun, adventurous, calm, intellectual, philosophical and what differences that partner makes to your walk.

When two people take a walk or a drive they are held within that experience and encapsulated by company... it is considered unsocial to abandon your company and whether it is enjoyable or not you are forced to remain together.

This contributed to me asking a near stranger to join me.

I contacted Rhiannon shortly after we first met through work as I felt an urge to collaborate

I ve worked in polaroid before and as those loyal blog followers may recall John and I were Impossible project testers.. proving it an impossible project. Rhiannon is a polaroid expert and her work inspired me to regain faith in polaroid again

Rhiannon instantly agreed to the idea of an adventure and as pre arranged met me at liverpool st station excited and carrying more bags than me... yup that s right.. i repeat.. carrying more bags than me. Together we dashed to the next train and the bag ladies instantly began to natter excitedly.

We roamed and talked galore and had a fantastic but short afternoon. Hin would have been disgusted by our brief walk (another factor determined by company.) The agreement with all is not to pressurise or beat ourselves up.. just be..

We migrated to ' the only pub in the village' and over a much needed thaw lay out the images to recap.. very early days but the joy of the craft fully alive..

So to warp up my rant, we discovered a gem of a road with equally interesting residents.. we will surely revisit this little hidden street in the summer when apparently paddling pools come out in full swing!

Once parental permission was gained we shot until our hands froze and the polaroids were such a refreshing and exciting change. Then the mistake of a real collaborated image occurred.. a combination of two images we both wanted to capture shot by each of us without planning a double exposure...

We shall continue with both lone shots and combined polaroids on our forward quest to record our expeditions and experiences.. but the rule shall be never to reveal whether or not we have cocked the shutter for a fresh sheet or one already used... will our images be ruined or created?

Image of the week... reflections ....

2012-01-19T13:31:00.000-08:00

Ok sooooo I was lucky enough to be featured amongst some great photographers in the FT on a story I shot whilst in S Sudan. I have nt posted it all on here as it had nt been published. This location was an absolute treat and echos why when escaping the boundries of the UK the camera rises to the eye more easily.

Also for those who have already seen these is an unseen snap from WALK WITH BOYS number 2 - the ever sooooo adorable Hin Chau...

Perhaps this image should not have been taken...perhaps it should have been filmed like we both concluded..but perhaps ...just perhaps it should have.

On one level the contrast in beauty and grime, life and death, flight and burial and moment of transition...almost purgatory keep me hypnotised.. but I cant help feeling it was a moment, a motion, a tension created by waiting...waiting for the birds to take flight, or simple disguise themselves amongst the pic n mix of garbage...

Either way it was important, because it made me question whether it was a moment to capture and how. My aim was not to do it justice as an experience but to let the moment inspire me to create something.

Image of the week...3 men...3 walks

2012-01-12T15:31:00.000-08:00

The last few weeks have been adventure filled. A few walks to take time to reflect , play, relax and explore and the company really altered the experience, adding a bit of variety . I was fortunate enough to have the company of 3 different male friends on 3 different walks.

After the Christmas break I struggled to jump back into the January pace and found my head and legs slower than usual. I craved a holiday with my bronica and a bit of blissful ignorance.

This was a chance to catch up with my boys and run away.

So how do walks differ alone? They are more independent in path and thought , exploring feels liberating, it can be self punishing, moods shift and I find the freedom refreshing.

Alternatively the unpredictable nature of company fused with an adventure can be just as fun. Both are memorable and these recent walks created a great opportunity to assess the differences

Unfortunately I canne present them chronologically ... numero 2 is Jonah.

John has the ability to make me revert back to the days of being 9 years old ( a compliment). He is playful, creative yet thoughtful.

This frame was a rare moment when light strikes two photographers' imaginations. Transformed, we were two children encapsulated in the joy of the sun like children discovering an abandoned supersoaker on a sunny day. Identical grins followed by a procession of playful enactments, spontaneous gestures and creative ideas.... innocent play with no expectation...fun.

Harsh sunlight in fleeting visits was a tease .. perhaps the image doesn't show the moment to it s potential but reminds me of the walk....ta sir, you are a ledge x

Image of the week.....a jumble

2012-01-06T15:33:00.000-08:00

More adventures needed.... so Im in adventure mode and have been on a few recent walks with male buddies... first up a catch up with Benjamin Roberts and yesterday one with Jonah...films to be scanned so meanwhile here's another STC piccy , a fun memory from dino land and a final one from Tim.

I ve decided that whilst i muster up the new projects and test the waters, walks and company are a good distraction. The opposite of applying pressure of the next project, the need for a focussed idea and a solution to the fog is simple...don't think. Clearing my mind and relaxing is a must right now and the only niggling factor is a broken Hasselblad i treated myself too naively off ebay...grrrr

so until the imacon see s my negs these will have to suffice. There is something so satisfying about clicking a shutter for joy without expectation or pressure....don't think brain.

" Those eyes that you asked me to direct at the lens seem initially to challenge but then there is the realisation that they are saying ''welcome to my misty, mysterious world - come in, the water's fine. Weird and strange, but fine.'' l seem crowned by a mystical ruff of space and time, of light and darkness. The water is indeed fine but how deep and what lies beneath? My illness is represented as a brilliant wash of texture and light but with hidden dangers made more easily dealt with due to the power of the mind behind those eyes to see light where there is darkness, answers where there are questions and beauty where there is ugliness. You, the viewer may well have been in that deep lagoon yourself before. You may not have been there and can only imagine what lies beneath the surface. Either way, you are prepared to trust the possessor of those eyes, those thoughts, those ideas, that knowledge, to lead you through the murkiness to find a piece of cool, clear water in which, at least for a few moments or at most, for a lifetime, you can join him whilst he flips and plunges, floats and ponders, dives and rises up towards the sun on his journey through uncharted waters of emotion, elation and discovery"

image of the week...

2011-12-29T12:00:00.000-08:00

My NY resolution..chin up, no floating in self doubt, depression and frustration... I shall make an effort to not vent so much negativity..word.

so....on time (miracles can occur clearly) so only one this Thursday....

I finally got round to scanning some of the images from my shoot with Tim (posted ions ago now) It does seem strange looking back at how the day unfolded and how game Tim was for really trying all of the ideas. The milk-shake theme continued and with kind weather Tim was eager to get his kit off.

He fell into feeling at ease with the camera and initiating his project by the means of modelling for life drawing so this seemed appropriate.

I wanted the images and ideas to be a collaboration and the naked form of his body seemed to be something Tim not only felt would enhance the image, but I also assume contribute to the experience of being photographed. It can give the sitter a feeling of ownership and exposure and this shoot was about Tim; his body, his mind, his life and his soul. The illness was simply a catalyst for the project. The nudity also fitted well with the maternal elements of milk and eggs .

I sent Tim the images and he sent a long, well thought out and conceptual reply. Here is a short quote:

" There is a quietness and simplicity about them which draws you in and then, pow! Each one rolls over you like the sun rising up in the early morning bringing much needed warmth with it and slowly your whole body is infused with a glow as all the aspects of the photograph unfold before you and your mind begins to question and possible answers throw themselves up for consideration, examination, elucidation."

I'll be posting another one soon with more quotes xx

It was a delight to collaborate with a sitter as keen on being involved in a shoot as the photographer and I am relieved he is chuffed; but most of all, that we had fun....random fun...but fun.

image of the week...we all know what my NY resolution should be don't we...

2011-12-24T11:59:00.000-08:00

From Hin's recent comment regarding my usual reference to late posting I shall simply slap my wrist... so this weeks post is another Ghana one.

This time on a slightly different story to the gold mines. This hospital is run by Afri kids to support the community financially with work as well as medical care, it is part of their micro finance programme.

I think what astonished me most about the charity was the main goal to be self sufficient in years to come, generating income through their projects to further fund their projects. Really working with the community and learning from the people was a clear indicator of the value of local knowledge. The only people who can understand the harmful and tragic practices and beliefs are those that are victim to it. Local people educating the local people as well as providing financial outlets is slowly changing the way in which the country operates.

On the final night we had dinner with a very young nurse who had come from Australia a few years ago. Despite her only training to be a pediatrician the experience with Afri kids had developed her practice further than imaginable. She was dealing with an unmanagable work load. Patients arrive at 5 am and are often not seen until 7 pm due to the demand for medication. 15 minutes is a maximum appointment one patient has with a doctor so a diagnosis explanation is often not a priority, meaning that knowledge is never passed on. This is something the young nurse tries to oppose and encourages her patients to pass on the information she provides. She seemed distressed and preoccupied with thoughts of a young child with Malaria she treated a few hours earlier when we had visited and kept an eye on her phone the entire meal. She had a heart of gold and I hope that more will follow in her footsteps.

image of the week...murky zone

2011-12-15T15:13:00.001-08:00

Writters block would be a blessing .I am wallowing in self pity at the lack of a focussed project. I'm craving an adventure with my Bronica and brain and literally feel trapped in a projectless place arghagdfhajdhjsha

rage vented .....so patience, inspiration and determination must prevail and in the mean time I shall present snippets of previous comissions. This weeks post is from the hazy Carte Blanche morning and another Sudan tale

This lad was def one of the most tragic stories we stumbled upon. Many of the northern returnees were gutted to discover that their home land failed to provide sanitation, food and shelter. WIth minimal supplies and lack of aid EVERY (and I mean) every single person we met that had returned from the north was ill and or dying, mostly from malaria,cholera or aids.

The main concept developed around the fact that the one item that people chose to bring with them when deciding on essentials was their bed ( an iconic symbol of home), people would leave everything they possessed but always take their bed. This then became the most valuable item to trade; many families suffering starvation in order to keep their beds.I shot every northern returnee on their bed ( including this gent) .. here s a different one though

This boy was 19, his wife was also 19 and died a few days prior to our meet. She died from Cholera and they could nt afford the medication to save her life despite begging the hospital for help. She was an intelligent and hopeful young woman with aspirations to work after finishing her degree. Their son ( pictured) was only a few months old. He too now had cholera and we learnt that not only did this young man face overcoming the death of his wife , he now had little choice to let his child die. He is a skilled carpenter but there are no jobs. He can't work and therefore cannot get the essential funds for medication.

image of the week...yehhhhhhh punctual for once

2011-12-08T15:08:00.000-08:00

The quietness only stirs regret at my slackness for planning a trip for this time of year however I am finally getting on with the list of admin from my organisation station..

Pic n mix of images this week ... a gentle reminder to myself that I am neglecting my little box and need to hit the streets to snap. I'm sifting through grey clouds of project ideas and unsettled on a theme I am simply wallowing and not clicking and I desperately need to escape.

Another Ghana portrait from the lush gold mines is image uno

And for desserts a random image from my trip to Turner land.... Broadstairs. The trip was a treat ..a solitary train journey to misty Kent on my way to give a talk. I arrived a few hours early loaded only with a cheap camera from a drunken ebay affair and I eagerly tested it to see if it worked. Due to the lens being beyond shite all of the images came back blurred but the fun of pressing a shutter with the wonder of an end result was relaxing... in actual fact I think the aesthetics kind of resonate a turner quality in that the grain and soft focus are slightly more romantic. It's not a strong image but it was a fun experience with a new tool...

my aim...next week to have a brand spanking new frame.. x

Image of the week..the dream/nightmare assignment...

2011-12-01T16:37:00.000-08:00

Irony is the word of the week... I was honoured to be asked by BJP to talk at their Vision event this year alongside the prestigious Chole Dewe Mathews and Guy martin. After a great chin wag ( blinded in one eye by a contact lens infection that was a distraction beyond words)we escaped to the cafe. I was greeted by an eager and characteristic student who asked my advice..:

: I struggle with university projects..commissions are easy, I don't find fulfilling a brief hard but to come up with a theme, a project, I just can't do it...what can I do?.."

I responded with a confident spiel on how it's hard to find something that defines a project but ultimately you need to be interested in what you are capturing and that through exploration, images and concept will form...try not to overthink it...enjoy it..chill out..look at what you like and hate..question it..take pictures ..dont think too much .. i departed feeling as though I had half calmed his anxiety but wished I could have given him a more experienced solution ...but I did feel a sense of relief that I was free of the university deadlines and pressure...fate arrives in it's cruel ironic form....

At the pub a few hours later a lovely surprise email asking if I d like an assignment pings my inbox from Le Monde...why of course ..I'd love to..what are the details?

(It's Friday 8pm ish..)

Deadline Monday 1pm
Must be shot this weekend

..ok...great so what is it?

...Carte Blanche..

huh?

Carte Blanche..anything.

...what do you mean anything?

Anything

REalllllly???? Is there a theme..a word? A subject?

Nope..anything

Shit.

To cut a ranting story short I spent all of Saturday FORCING myself to trek the streets of Stamford Hill..shooting well into 2 am on a night bus riders idea..only to briefly hit the sack with disappointment, frustration and depression swarming my mind...but JOY!.... fog filled the 7am sky Sunday and I literally ran out grabbing my box on the way. In my haste forgetting that I am definitely not immune to cold weather..

I spent a few hours in the park meeting dog walkers, joggers and roamers as they magically entered my path through dense fog..fit. It felt fun.

So what did I learn?

That forcing imagery serves a different purpose to taking pictures. It all helps me learn but the joy of image making comes from an innate desire to venture out. I have huge respect for the tactics of the mag.. they enabled me to experience the true pressures of a commission and my working methods. Yes I was lucky fog hit and that morning was like falling in love all over again after the most challenging Saturday i can re call for a while...

Image of the Week...darn this Thursday passing me by

2011-11-25T07:50:00.000-08:00

I'm bored of apologising but will try for next week...ok so more Ghana shizzle me thinks... Sally and I rose early to visit what I guess you would describe as a chaotic car boot sale swamped with heavy weight trucks in a large carpark.

This area was named 'The station'. It was a sanctuary that seemed to cater for the street kids as a good place to sleep. Rammed with stalls selling similar nik naks or food there seemed to be more sellers than buyers roaming around the jungle of trucks. By 9 am the ferocious sun was already frying us alive. We spoke to the street kids who revealed their dream sleeping spot and explained the hierarchy involved in the nest you got.

And... for my lateness....more gold mines..

Next week I shall reveal the hardest assignment I have received to date...dun..dun...dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh x

image of the week...Ghana time zone

2011-11-18T15:21:00.000-08:00

Ok so yup hands held high and white flag waving ...late post again...Thursday's deadline passed by with a high res request priority from the Ghana adventures.

I can now post an image or two from the trip as they failed to make the final edit. This was in a dream location. I was lucky to be in to company of the fantastic writer Sally Williams from as we headed for Ghana itinary in hand but hoping for the freedom to explore.. we were lucky. The charity Afrikids who were supporting our trip and taking good care of us allowed us to run and play as well as filling our schedule to the point of insanity.

These images are from day one...after only a few hours sleep and an early rise our day soon jammed up with trekking from place to place. The last location was a breaking point.. a visual treat... over ground gold mines.

The mines are filled with workers ( mostly children) struggling to earn a wage and digging in the hope they have the right spot where a few crumbs of gold could change their life. Many of the children are homeless, parentless and uneducated...one boy found enough gold the day we visited to change his life. He can now afford his school fees.

image of the week ..late post..good excuse ..

2011-11-13T06:33:00.000-08:00

Wow I am having the most fantastic time in Ghana on assignment for The Saturday Telegraph, a real adventure and the scorching sun and constant refreshing case studies and locations are lush... I am definitely torn between the desire to constantly explore and travel and my creature comforts....

Alas due to fear of upsetting the editorial I canne post the results so here are a few from STC again and a very random one in London, nothing special but despite the minging weather and stubborn darkness (that makes me bloody miserable) it just feels appropiate whilst I'm here..enjoy the unbroken beautiful light and heat whilst I can ...

image of the week...saving children

2011-11-03T16:55:00.001-07:00

Here are a few more from the STC project..I d really like to head back to Glasgow as I am itching for a personal project to become all consuming..I feel a hole missing and a frustrating sense of unfulfillment....moan moan moannnnn...

I am posting it due to missing the opening of the show last week (gutted) but I hit NY for a week. The crazy city swallowed my soul and annoyingly I didnt take one picture but just about managed to figure out the subway system before leaving.A return trip is needed me thinks...

You can see everyone elses work here:

http://www.savethechildren.org.uk/en/16581.htm

I am in love with Simon Roberts contribution and it really was a great honour to be featured amongst such a great crowd. Let's hope that the work encourages the audience to reconsider how poverty affects families within the UK.

Image of the week the emotional walk

2011-10-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

Loving New York but trying to keep up with the insane pace and seeing very little :(

OKey dokes so hopefully this will be on time (UK time?)

This was by far the most exciting assignment I ve had in ages and i hugely enjoyed it and may continue it further.... who knows

First off a delightful night in a lodge in Norfolk with the writer Peter, his daughter Vicky and her careers at SENSE. I excitedly slept sound wondering how the next day would prevail. I was assigned to documment the emotional walk taking place between Peter and Vicky.

I awoke to Vicky walking past my room and casually walking down the kitchen with one thing in mind...TEA...

She made a cuppa with ease and sat down to enjoy it.

It was refreshing to know she was at complete ease with being photographed and through the limited but warm communication we had she kind of didn t really mind either way.

It was awkward and painful to watch the struggle in communication as Peter sees her only 4 times a year.

Vicki has been deaf, almost blind and mentally disabled since birth. Her mother was later diagnosed with Rubella which caused Vicki's condition.

SENSE encourages Vicki to be independent and active and use sign language , colours and organisation to guide her to recognise a routine and a way of living in the adult world more independently and with socially decency.She is also on a variety of medication to contraol her outbursts and challenging behaviour.

She enjoys long walks , arts and crafts and good food. I stayed with Vicky on a rare visit from her father who sees her four times a year since she left home to be taken into care during early adolscence. I spent the day capturing Vicki's routine and the responses to the first vacation ever spent with her father.

Peter struggles to emotionally form any kind of relationship with a daughter he cannot communicate with.

Vicki is emotionless. She cannot form emotional attachments.

In the 4 years her carer Jenny has known her she has never seen Vicky cry or smile.

Image of the week...yehhhh thursday (just)

2011-10-20T16:37:00.000-07:00

Many a time ago Tim contacted me explaining his now famous project on his battle with Parkinsons. We exchanged several emails in preparation for my contribution to such a great venture. Tim now has an impressive 164 portraits of himself taken by a variety of talented photographers each providing their interpretation of his illness. I was honoured to be approached and I knew the shoot would be a great opportunity to really collaborate with a subject and have pure creative freedom.

Here's a quick scan from the great day together.. Brother Harper offered to lend a hand and it simply would not have been possible without his help. I wanted to explore the theme of life and death so I choose eggs to resemble this idea. But the main idea I had was to play on what came to mind with Parkinsons. I, personally think of shaking . So I gave Time some milk in order to create a milk shake. He was completely on board and took to the idea like a true sport agreeing it would be fun.

Covering a naked man in eggs and milk takes a lot of charm but with such a willing subject it was simply a fun day out of London in order to make someone smell like an omelette.

Image of the week... broken promises

2011-10-14T13:22:00.001-07:00

Yup I broke a promise to deliver goods on time..damn damn..

I'm itching to get my teeth into a new project and experiencing serious grey zone fever. I crave the days of dragging myself to the ends of the earth to sleep in tents and strip myself of creature comforts in the hope of experiencing a moment to capture.

Had a fantastic day today though - a rare shoot :

Ingredients

whole milk
6 medium sized eggs
One lovely middle aged man with parkinsons disease

Soak in luke warm water and enjoy

..it was fun.. but alas a one off shoot..

Below is more Save the Children antics... really wish I could continue this but access issues cause stress and frustration galore...

also get your head in gear Pannack! (Uploaded the wrong young love scan)

see below:

Image of the week...better late than never

2011-10-09T13:36:00.000-07:00

Thursday came..and went and I Brownies promise to hit my Thursday deadline this week..

Back to this past week..

I threw caution to the wind and decided to opt for a last minute trip to Glasgow to see my subject for the STC project. My first experience of a sleeper train and back to Irun Bru land I went. It felt like an adventure and as I excitedly clambered onto the top bunk (shotgun.. even though alone) I relished the sense of uncertainty. Sleeper trains are the worst enviroment to wake up in mid way through the night when you re in a state of semi consciousness and your bladder moans. Awaking to straps designed to prevent the sleeper from injury I walked like a drunken hag to the bathroom.

6 am ,Teeth brushed and camera at the ready I headed for Ashley's and spent the day hanging out. The day seemed long and tiring despite actually doing nothing. A never ending journey featuring coffee and retouching made it possible to stiffle through the results and the instant pang of regret hit my stomach. 1 roll..... Just one passed through my Bronica. leaving my lense at Ashley's flat whilst we visited her aunt meant I had to opt for digital and I craved the memory of Mr Harper to have saved the day.

However this loss only spurs me to return when funds allow...

Notoriously late!

Also featured a Young Love scans from the past...

Image of the week...looking back..

2011-10-01T04:21:00.000-07:00

This weeks post is kind of punctual depending on your time zone and watch accuracy..( when I started writing it)

Excuses aside ….

Story mag approached me ions ago and we agreed in some way to work together to explore my project of young love further.

I like the idea of never closing projects as my influences and ideas are always changing and I am continuously dissatisfied. So I decided to get in touch with Shay and after much banter and definitive planning we both looked forward to a little reunion and an opportunity to add a few young gay couples to the project and give it another dimension as well as looking at her relationship now.

Super keen with a promise to greet me at the station I confidently boarded the London train with Bronica at the ready. After 2 hours of waiting and eventually a conclusive text of : " I'm in the police station , can't do it" was received by a pissed off Pannack.

Working with young people, especially those that often attract drama and adventure can be exciting but at times highly irritating and annoyingly unpredictable. The same invincibility and spontaneous characteristics that attract me to photographing adolescents , can at times also drive my patience to the limit.

So deciding against simply scouting the streets in search of gay youth I headed for a coffee with Jonah and then off to a talk with a few friends (Ben Roberts, Hin Chau, Ewen Spencer, Jason Larkin and Maja Daniels) before annoyingly fleeting to make an early flight.

The following day I bashfully relayed the bad news to the editor who was already pushed with a deadline and he suggested that I delve through old scans as the interview was mainly about the process of working and this experience in fact fitted in well.

So inevitably through doing this I stumbled across forgotten images and reminders of pervious shoots.

The curse of film is one frame is often not enough and with this image (which I hope to one day reshoot) it fails due to her eyes just not sitting right...

The other is from an edit of the shoot with Toni from the Harmless project some time ago...

And finally after doing a talk with Hin I decided he takes himself far too seriously, so this is to remind him and myself that dancing in an empty Quarry in a surreal land is definitely worth a 6 hour drive.

image of the week of no net....

2011-09-25T15:07:00.000-07:00

Embarrassingly late post for Pannack... (worst to date I think!)

Apparently the wifi does not come as standard when on the road and visiting Irun bru land. Continuing the commission for Save The Children has led me to two very special families. I ve been exploring poverty in the UK and this week was the first week of official shooting with 1 and half days allocated shooting time.

Ashley was 15 when she gave birth to Shaun and now at 18 has 2 young 'weens'. Shaun and Elissa live with her in her family home and this visit was a chance to spend an afternoon with them . Ashley's younger sister , although incredibly shy seemed keen to join the project and spending a day with them encouraged me to relax my methods and take a more docummentary approach.

The second image is one more from the reccy shoot in the first week.

The first image is the result of day 2 spent with Tracey and her son Aron who are the second family kindly volunteering to take part. The project explores the small burdens of financial struggle as well as the major challenges they face daily. A typical day off school for an average young person may involve excusions and shopping. For Aron though, the freedom to fly his kit or visit the park is just as exciting. Tracey works hard to give Aron the same opportnitues but often has to be creative when thinking of free entertainment .

Managing finanaces is not just stressful but can often reach desperation. She confesses there has been many instances where to pay bills she is forced to open Arons piggy bank. The role of being a lone provider is tested to the limits.

I decided that what Aron needed was a fun day out so after flying his kite lunch out was Arons's choice... the kiddy meal was woofed down in record time leaving only the option of a doggy bag for the chocolate cake desert....

Image of the Week...that literally flew by

2011-09-16T04:11:00.000-07:00

More info to come but...This wee one has a fear of the wind, he hides in Ashleys cardigan as the gales of Glasgow blow wildly...bless.

5 am London fly to Glasgow , coach, cab, meeting,cab, shoot,cab, meeting,shoot,cab,fly back,bus,retouch...sleeeeeeepah.

I guess I should do a wee bit of shameful self promo. I am hugely honoured to have been awarded 3 prizes in this years IPA awards at the Lucies.

1st place Nudes fine art
2nd place Advertising (other)
Honourable mention portraits singles

Alas I am dollarless as the awards sound like a proper red carpet affair with glad rags galore, but if you happened to be going or in New York, have a blast.

Ok so this weeks post ( yup late again) ... boring to keep apologising and vex's me still) comes from the exhausting trip to Glasgow. I'm doing an exciting project with Save the Children and I am honoured to be involved but the tenacity , time and patience required to stick out the organisation has been the most challenging to date. However I remain adamant to complete it.

So these are the RECCE shots as time,energy and concentration were hindered by travel and I really hope to complete some good shots eventually. I have to admit I felt irritated with myself for not getting anything that satisfied me but if in doubt try again...

image of the week.. what seems like the shortest one all year

2011-09-09T09:30:00.001-07:00

Returning from mad Perp has thrown me sideways. I met some lush photography folk and although it's an exhausting whirlwind there were moments of pleasure and relaxation. But the days, hours and words have all rolled into one.

So as per bloody usual I have failed to hit my Thursday deadline damn it! Punishment is obligatory and I have included a contrast of images....

Thought I'd mix it up a little with the heavy realisation it's been way way too long since I picked up my box.

So the first two are from Sudan but a little bit of scenery and street photo...

And the last is from a UK editorial commission.. I shall reveal more once the story has run but in the mean time all I can say is this lady is a gem. She was a rare subject that I instantly felt at ease with and felt we really had a lot in common in a weird way, despite having very different lives.

I am absolutely ITCHING to shoot... hmmmmm until the next Thursday x

image of the week...just... excuses, excuses...

2011-09-05T15:31:00.000-07:00

So I should n't let being out of the country without internet be an excuse for a lack of Thursday post...however parting with 50p a MB felt like robbery....

So as always I shall indeed post more than one image...

Hmmmm but what to post? After seeing so much amazing and inspirational imagery over the past few surreal days in Perpignan I feel silly even popping something up, but this small black hole feels too familiar to not stick with the habitual post.

SO here we have the weeks images:

These are from the third project to come out of the Sudan trip.

Don bosco

This location was without a doubt the most refreshing treat for any photographer. The shoot still provided many challenges regarding time and communication but the opportunity to be in such a beautiful location made all if these seem like minor inconveniences. Constantly stimulating to the eye.. I only wish I had longer but perhaps one day I will return.

The newest country in the world is not yet two months old. South Sudan is now one of the poorest nations on the planet where a 15-year-old girl is more likely to die in childbirth than finish primary school.

As South Sudan finds its feet on the world’s stage,I spent time with young girls who are not only going to school but who will be part of building the country from scratch.

Don Bosco is the only fully-functioning vocational center in the whole of the country is boldly making sure girls are leading the way in independent South Sudan.

The center teaches mechanics, electrical engineering, building, printing, IT and woodwork. These trades are essential in providing skilled workers who will build a brand new country.

It was interesting not only to find girls who are receiving an education but also those that are studying a stereotypically masculine trade, and excelling at it.

Next week something British I hope...

Image of the week...adventure wanted

2011-08-25T16:21:00.000-07:00

I shamefully admit in some ways I enjoy being a creature of habit and luxury returning with a gleeful skip to M&S at Heathrow and soon readjusting back to the normal hustle and anonymous bustle of the smoke.

That is not to disregard the lush pleasure and relief I gained from the simplicity and warmth of Sudan but just to demonstrate how easy it is to slip back into the infectiously impatient, irritable,savage city crowds.

This weeks post is a reminder from one of my favourite trips to date..yup the Portland escapade with the great Mr Chau.

I ve chosen this as it reminds me that adventures anywhere can be fun and those you encounter often resonate the areas they are situated. Like animals I wonder do our enviroments shape us or do we build our land to inhabit us? This young mother reminded me of the island, her mystique yet simple character instantly grabbed me and I stole her seconds before her bus arrived as she fleeted off in an instant.However (with a lot of quick persuasion) she allowed me 2 single frames. Annoyingly I have forgotten her name but I remember thinking how much it suited her.

Anywho, it makes me want to explore more of the UK and so many other hubs on my list…if only I could stop time…

Image of the week...we're not in Kansas now Dorothy...

2011-08-20T05:12:00.000-07:00

So in true Pannack style a late post = a bashful apology...

However I am woman who sticks to her word so more than one image shall be revealed.

I naievly thought I could edit and retouch the Sudan pics with superhuman ease but distractions of radio 4 and real life time has been a burden and I am still bound to my desk...a sneak peek is now in order.

Sudan was everything I expected and more and I was fortunate enough to have an understanding sidekick who despite harsh and often frustrating precautions let me shoot at my desire. I often poked my camera out of the car or snapped at random incidents to remind me where I was whilst the relentless downpours attacked in rainy season custom.

I have a great appreciation for all types of photography and marvel at legends who seem to capture a sense of place. I believe it really is choosing when and what to photograph that makes the image evoke a sense of emotional connection and accepting that your eyes and your heart may feel something that your camera simply cannot capture. Embracing these moments makes us human and fuels the desire to create something new.

One thing I learnt in Kwajock was how it was not just cattle that are most people's capital it was also beds.

When moving to the South, boarding a vehicle is first come first served. Those that get on early are able to take as much as they can fit, those boarding last must abandon pocessions and painfully decipher the priority and necessity of their luggage.

The trade of beds determines if the residents living in Kwajock eat, live or die as well as holding a coincidently strong metaphor for home and comfort. Think about it...what's the one thing you crave when away from home...? tired,cold, lonely or miserable sleeping in your own cocoon cures any homesick feeling. I can vouch that returning to my nest was absolute bliss and filled my mind the entire long arse journey home..screaming children, stuffy planes and airport delays were a mere obstacle to reaching my goal of slipping back into the snug womb.

The next image is a sneaky peek at the second story I shot out there on girls education. The fact : " A girl born in South Sudan is more likely to die in child birth than complete primary school education." spurred a desire to search for girls in education.

Amongst our search in the tiny places like Wau and Kwajock we even came across a school specifically aimed at teaching teenagers and 20-somethings carpentry, mechanics, electrical engineering, printing and building...but I'm rambling..more of that later...

So here's one from a primary school trip that focusses on teaching girls to abandon marriage until they have completed their education.

The teacher spoke of a girl who was being forced to marry an old man in exchange for cattle. The girl begged to complete her education, her father refused. So the girl's classmates went to house of the old man and refused to leave him alone until he agreed to withdraw his proposal, after much hassle he finally caved in.

They then returned to the girls house, saving her from an inevitable death by persuading her father that with an education she would marry a far richer man, bringing him more cattle. He was persuaded and the girl is now studying...awesome. I shot on an old Rolliflex kindly lent to me. It was my first time using it...treats...

wow long post (sorry)

2011-08-11T13:17:00.000-07:00

I'd like to dedicate this post to sara rumens:

'....that'll be an interesting week for your blog' were her words amongst her supportive and kind advice prior to me popping off to south Sudan over a week ago.

The commission was a rare one for Oxfam for many reasons but mainly because it was a one off trip taking a photographer to explore a place they work with the intention of producing a project that is shot uniquely.

It was a challenge I embraced instantly and for the past year numerous meetings and ideas have been occurring until I finally found myself at heathrow with a camera bag last week. The team were genuinely great; hardworking, welcoming, calm and delightful company and it made the whole experience a joy. Fortunately I was kept constantly occupied and well looked after.

Soooo what did I shoot?
All shall soon be revealed once edits have been completed but in the mean time here's some street photography ....

image of the week...for once a punctual pannack...

2011-07-28T14:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a lovely busy few weeks and it's great to work on a piece where it all comes together. I am learning a huge amount and bruising in the process.

One thing I have always maintained is the importance to create a space and concept. Half of the fun ( and pain ) of editorial work is the unpredictability of the enviroment you are lumbered to shoot in. This can be blissfully surprising, exciting, revealing.. or a nightmare. The challenge then lies in using your imagination to create a canvas for your portrait. I sometimes really struggle with this and I am guilty in envisioning the image prior to even arriving. However , without the unpredictability half the fun would be lost.

It's sometimes fun to guess what your subject will look like, what colour their curtains will be and how many pets they have as it's often a complete contrast to your expectations and can really change a shoot.

I find busy and small enviroments pretty daunting and when we rocked up at the lovely and talented Williams studio I frowned as the sun disappeared and the easels and paint pots meshed my concentration. But gradually with time and patience a simple idea arrived and it became a game of furniture moving and reflector balancing. The key ingredient to these shoots is the patience and relaxed nature of your subject. We were fortunate, William was cheerful, helpful and laid back and with a few attempts we managed to get a few pictures. My thanks to Mr Harper once again for the light assembling and disassembling more frequent than any other shoot and his epic guns of steel. William , you were a treat, ta xx

image of the week... the fifteen minutes of fame...

2011-07-21T15:46:00.000-07:00

Editorial assignments often feel like a game, none more so than those where the timer is set to a mere 15 minutes with your subject. Despite the speed at which an image can be captured, it seems once the camera hits my face the seconds speed by ferociously...

In order to feel you've done all you can within the allocated slot it requires an assistant with :

common sense,stamina, calmness, integrity and decisiveness.... oh and it helps if they wear the same clothes as you too....

(Mr Harper and I have coincidently now showed up wearing exactly the same jumpers on several shoots now, which leads me to believe he is either a great fan of my attire and has followed my trends closely, or the team Pannack uniform has come to light freakishly organically....)

Dancing between masking taped spots we shot the lovely David Nicholls ( who at first glance of the name I thought was my childhood crush Paul Nicholls.. those curtains won my heart...)

David was a pleasure and I can proudly confess we fed him his first ever scone... treating our subjects with only the best props he willingly chewed through the dryist looking Sainsbury's basics scone none to mankind.

So here's a snap of the helping hand that made the day fun, ta Mr Harper... xx

image of the week...lagging

2011-07-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

Woops !
Monstrously late... ok... so I shall reveal my lack of confidence and spill that I am suffering a bout of grey zone virus... currently wallowing in self pity I'm beating myself black and blue with the photographers version of writers block. It's a rare occasion when I am content with an image but I am currently frustrated with my lack to produce something that makes me grin... however I have been reassureed it's a familiar feeling amongst photographers, advice is to sit with it, let the virus take it's turn and that positivity is the only solution.

My idea is to keep shooting and thinking whilst I wallow.. so I wont say anything further now I've vented.

HOkaaaay image (s) of the week come from my final attempt at the bolivian commission for the The Photographers Gallery. This is Oscar who kindly invited me into his home to take his portrait. Sadly the deadline is due so it's a toss up between him and Annie. I cant say I'm particularly chuffed with either, however the process has been really enjoyable and I'm looking forward to seeing the results of the collaboration!

image of the week...

2011-07-09T04:08:00.000-07:00

Quiet times scare Pannack so I was relieved when the ical soon filled to the brim... so a lame weekly excuse as per bloody usual yup a later post... As the rules state I must post more than one due to crudness...

OK so this weeks post comes from the gem of the weekend with Hin again..I canne help it..that weekend may provide a few posts just for pure memory and to motivate another trip

Numero duex..

I feel honoured to have been asled to particpate in 'The chain' :

http://www.chainproject.co.uk/

Alongside some great friends and photographers, a project was proposed by Stewart Pilkington. It challenges how we approach projects, how to unite our ideas and how to actively persue a concept with no intention or motive other than fun and particpation.. treats..

So here's mine:

I think it's a fab idea and I really hope that there is another one soon

It was refreshing to have the decision made for me and I urge the concept of this collective project to continue.. I would jump at the chance of doing it again,

Righty sleepy eyes ..xx

Image of the week...dino weekend

2011-06-30T16:07:00.000-07:00

.. forgive the wimpesh eyes that fell asleep at my mac last night...

Sooo wow what a weekend...The remedy of dashing off for some unique company in search of untrodden land, unmet folk and young inmates in need of sweets delivered fun filled adventures.

Hin Chau and I decided the best way to initiate a combined project was to simply strip ourselves of themes, deadlines, pressure and sense , fill my wagon with supplies and head to a far off land for a weekend.

After a damn good waitrose pit stop and 4 1/2 hours on the road the headlights finally revealed what I can only describe as foreign ground. There is an atmospheric tone to the majority of random towns I visit but Portland was something else. It felt eerie and mysterious. A large blanket of fog descended on the island for the entire duration of our stay. Heat for the comfort of walking with bare arms and fog to paint with.

We spent the trip engulfing the freedom of walking alone and the pleasure in joining forces and exploring as a team.

It was a blissful rare occasion to visit a UK destination and feel transported to another world. I felt free of responsibility or stress and my pace soon relaxed and I followed my nose . I fantasized of a life of simply roaming , ridding myself of a base and ideally travelling and exploring. However I imagine this honeymoon would soon wear off and my feeble self would inevitably crave the nest and luxuries given time.

So here s a pic in one of the few gem locations we discovered. This was a perfect recce trip..I feel honoured to have shared it with such great company.. more please xx

Image of the week...as promised

2011-06-23T16:02:00.000-07:00

uh oh.. tipsy venting ok..best to keep it brief or I may reveal deep and dark freudian secrets...

It's always a pleasure to see the result of an assignment fall into place . As promised here are the D&AD images after the retouch. Its a reminder of the swift teamwork , great communication but most of all brilliant vibe and atmosphere of the shoot. The day was like crystal maze.. Rushing from one subject to the next.. Without coffee, speedy feet, preparation and a great team of folk it would have been a different story altogether but it was a blast..the concept was pitched as an ad to encourage teachers to take on D&AD support in the form of resource packs offering them a range of tools to help them juggle the various tasks they encounter....Ta to all xx

image of the week.. the bolivian late one...

2011-06-17T13:51:00.000-07:00

woops... lateness, my bad.. next Thursday it'll be on time and not be a Friday posting...

I am lucky enough to be doing a commission for the Photographers Gallery and the search began a few weeks ago for a Bolivian person now living in the Uk... so where would one find such a person?

After some advice and twitter posting I decided to go old school and head down to a Bolivian restaurant in Highbury & Islington. It was there I met the angel Martha who was to be my guiding star for weeks to come. She generously invited me to a lunch for 'The Bolivian Appreciation Society' where a small, diverse community assemble in the heart of Wimbledon for a traditional afternoon of enchiladas and dancing!

This was the place to source my chosen ones...

I need to complete 4/5 pics of the final subject so i canne use this one.. hence the post....x

image of the week...SLOOOOOWWWWW...

2011-06-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Late posting? Me? ..never! Yet again Thursday skips by and I fail to hit the deadline of blog posting, however I think this week has been my weirdest yet... as Sara rightfully said.. in a few weeks my blog post could be quite a different one!

Anyway enough cryptic banter... this week is a first time band shoot for the lovely duo Slow Club ( Moshi Moshi). The band were an absolute joy to shoot and spend the day with and the adventure in a windy and chilly Brighton would simply not have been as epic without their great attitude and patience.

We sourced a few locations on our shopping list and headed straight to the poppy fields for the first few frames...tenacity prevailed and we headed to location two feeling exhausted by the initial struggle but eager to get the best we could. The pair soon relaxed and the masterary skills of miss Alexandra Day provided slick styling and smiles all round.

After a 13 hour day ,we, in true rock n roll style hit the pub and soon proved how old we felt by clambering home after snoring into a half empty wine glass within half an hour. Thanks to everyone. You worked hard and a wee special thanks to Jonah for the loan of his museum of Hyde... much love y all xxx

image of the week... nippy but blissful...

2011-06-02T15:23:00.000-07:00

lushhhhhhhhh shoot this one.. a blissful last min adventure courtesy of the Sunday Times. Alas I can't reveal the edit but a sneak of a hidden pic is my image of the week.

After the most insense and fitness testing dash for our morning train, we dumped our bags and high fived in disabelief at seat 56A and B , relaxing into a heavenly voyage to Devon early Saturday Morning. Well prepped after some intense on board reading we arrived 5 hours later to a warm welcome of lemon cake and tea ( fussily swapped for some essential coffee beans) and confessed the slightly imposing concept. Michael surprisngly agreed to join me in the Devon waves and we soon hiked off into the lush woodland to reach the coast.

After slight hesitation I soon realised that balancing on algi covered rocks was a meer procrastinationn for the ultimate soaking I was soon to recieve so we strived through the nippy waves ( Michael braver than us all) and finished with me oh so gracefully flashing my bare arse into a stumbling Stuarts' face ( ahhh memmmorrrries...)

Soaked to the briefs we trugged back to the wagon still finding it impossible not to be overwhelmed by the gorgeous nature and fresh air and headed for the second location of muddy banks.

I can't remember a day when time passed so quickly and within what seemed like minutes we were in a cab pacing schumaker speeds to catch our hourly train. This shoot was a definite joyous experience with warm and understanding subjects and great assistance :) x

Image of the week... the game...

2011-05-26T15:19:00.000-07:00

This week has generously provided me with a mish mash of trips that continue my English tour… but I finish the week back in the smoke again…

This weeks image comes from a shoot I did yesterday for the D&AD. The production team comprised of D&AD folk and a few lovely chaps from Magpie agency.

After a thorough recce we refused to admit defeat at the 'challenging' location choice and decided that we'd be superheros and work hard to get the best we could.

We arrived on the shoot day and were unexpectedly informed that a whirlwind was heading our way as each subject only had 45 mins and timings of the itinaray seemed to overlap.

What followed was an intense few hours of hasty setting up, shooting, dismantling, changing location and repeating the cycle. Working in this way is something I feel you have to embrace when it occurs.. treating it like a game whilst downing americanos as you go… the mission of juggling location, subject and time against the urge to create something fresh and alternative.

We shot each set up with flash and natural light to give the client a few options. It was interesting to see how different the shots looked and without such a speedy team it just would not have been possible.

There are of course obvious disadvantages to working in such situations.. getting to actually connect with your subject is a massive challenge and I find myself being pretty bossy which is never a joy. Also it gives you less time to consider your images, composition, lighting and overall shot which is something I thrive on and one of the reasons I love film.

However the shoot was energetic, fun, challenging and as we all collapsed with fatigue we laughed as our brains caught up and all smiled with relief at how somehow we'd managed to overcome every obstacle thrown at us...

Without the incredible hulk strength and speed at which Fed my assistant worked his magic and the general awesome attitude of the crowd it could have been very different. Ta to all xxx

The final images of this shoot will come and all will be explained...x

image of the week...better late than never..

2011-05-21T16:19:00.000-07:00

Shamefully my latest post to date in over two years.. lame..

Touring England seems to be this weeks trend as I take on the bag lady role and delve to Kiddiminster, Uxbridge, Oxford and Devon. Trainline can rest assured it can pay the bills this month.. I feel blessed by spontaneous trips and have got to see some beautiful sites, spend quality time with friends and embark on adventures with new people.

Some treats have included roaming service stations that have been conquered by OAPS , developing a two day long eye twitch due to Starbucks herion, travelling to the depths of Kiddiminster to move furniture and occassionally take pictures , gingerly half getting into the ice cold Devon sea with a lovely Scientist and some brocolli , scarring my assistant with a close up, full on bum in face flash...

oh yeh and toasting a glass of tipple at 11 30 am with Jilly Cooper..

I'd also like to dedicate this post to Stuart Harper my new assistant... he has been working his little socks off and sharing the adventures. Fun fun times and whilst he fleets to NY this month I hope he has fun and doesn't buy any dresses I have too.. xx

Image of the Week.. blogger was unavailable... and I was actually ready and waiting arghhh

2011-05-14T03:34:00.000-07:00

Irony is a tease.. Sat at my desk and smuggly logging onto the net I looked forward to posting on time for once.. one rule..one post a week of a new image..every Thursday.. but cruel cruel irony stripped me of such an opportunity by taking blogger ofline..

But I've still decided to post more than one pic..

One advantage that comes with the bain of moving house is the lush discovery of old hoardings.. and sometimes cameras. I decided to test an old canon 35mm film camera that has definitely been abused and neglected over many years. The counter read 21 so I figured I'd shove it in my bag as he headed for Cardiff to give a talk with the lovely Jocelyn Bain Hogg and David Hurn at Third Floor Gallery. I naturally assumed the previous unexposed shots were street photography from ions ago so I felt no pressure to create but just to notice.

I was disappointed to say that due to one of them being Ben Roberts I didn't shoot this roll as long ago as I expected and suddenly remebered it was a pentax that daily accompained me at first. The images aren't great but it's nice to find another box that functions...

However the black and white choice was a nice surprise.

I have also included a recent shoot for The Sunday Times of Wayne Hemminway and his son Jack. The guys were great fun, as you can tell.. I am posting this one as it is not due to printed.. they ve gone for a different one this weekend.

As a one off I thought I'd also post these links as I'm really chuffed that our hard work paid off and the campaign has gone down well, it was great fun and I am really grateful to everyone involved.. including those that posted this...

http://www.luerzersarchive.net/weekly/2011-19/printad.asp

http://www.creativereview.co.uk/cr-blog/2011/may/sire-marked-for-life-180-amsterdam

Image of the Week, bad habits.. no excuses....

2011-05-06T02:53:00.000-07:00

Well well well, surprise bloody surprise.. ladies and gents it's official my punctuality regarding posting on a Thursday sucks.. every week now? Rest assured I'm adamant to stay optimistic and focussed for next week..so who knows...

So wedded bank holiday bliss or a big global fuss, either way we all became victim to the royal m'larkey that took place..

I tried to decide what to shoot that day as a friend of mine had asked me to capture it..

In the mood for getting lost, I grabbed my wheels and cycled with a rucksack of simple treats and two rolls of films in search of what was actually occurring locally..if anything. Lamely despite it being such a social event I wasn't really in the mood for being amongst friends and vino so I opted out to meet strangers.

My first port of call was a croquet match in east London.. however on my way I stumbled across a minute street party full of kids and couples that I call 'Hovians' ( that would fit in well in Hove). I hopped off, parked and decided to see if it provided a frame. After a warm welcome and chin wagging galore I ended up staying for the remainder of the day and larking about in the hazy sun.

Here a few frames that I am not sure necessarily capture the royal wedding but they will remind me that despite all of the mass hype I had discovered the simple sense of community that I hoped the day would provide.

Image of the week... ahh well hello internet...

2011-04-30T14:56:00.000-07:00

It's not my fault!!

Alas my connection to the world outside of my iphone limits was at a max restriction this week, hence the belated post ( makes a change ay...)

It's been a busy few days which keeps Pannack a happy bunny and the Bronica has seen a few sunny rays. The broken digital beast was also retuned from the doctors and I've been on the road a little..but this weeks post is not a commission, nor something I shot in the past few days . It is in reference to last weeks blurb..

For me these images may not be a success but they mean something and mark a time of transition and realization. The remind me that shooting is learning and producing can be experiencing. They are a reflection of being fed up of relying on other subjects; of being let down and how observational photography can be a release. Like most photographers my roots lie in street photography and in times of stress, boredom, confusion or frustration it holds the ultimate key to giving me the space I need.

image of the week.. is an important reminder yet to be processed...

2011-04-21T16:07:00.000-07:00

I post this with shame as always.. but hey it's good Friday ...am I excused as I've gone for a x3?

I spent an hour or two exploring yesterday and I realised that the serenity I feel when I click the shutter is stronger than ever.

As my shelves tower to the ground ripping plaster from the wall and bringing my much loved books to a heartbreaking thud I sigh with frustration and pack a bag. Tower hamlets and the late afternoon sunshine call my feet. I think of Hin as I walk with no intention of shooting and after a short bus ride hit the streets of a new land. It's weird how somewhere so near can seem alien. Weirdly in the balmy heat I remiss of my day off in the Bahamas.

I think a healthy attitude for me to take on when I decide to trek out is to 'imagine' I'm in another country. There is a certain mentality attached to carrying your camera around when you are treading on foreign soil, you're eyes are open wider and you take a view of life with intrigue and innocence.

Strangely the feeling of clicking the shutter was a complete mix of emotions. A mish-mash of sadness, excitement, elation and relaxation...

Sadness that is has taken me so long to do it, excitement that I feel that reaction,elation and relaxation of escaping...

The image surely sucks ... as the roll sits in my camera awaiting frame 14 and 15 to expose themselves I have posted a few others in the mean while.

Hopefully I'll feel less pissed off at myself for abandoning shooting and being so slack..

The first image is one from a feature that is yet to be printed so when the others are posted I shall explain more... however for the image my upmost thanks must go to the legendary and incredibly sweaty beast that is Ollie Whitehead who literally soaked his tee and moved tables and chairs with me galore ...

These images are old ones that reminds me of the yesterday.. Another day when I took the box and Bronica out for the 'what's in the box idea'... so what did I put in the box that day..?

image of the week (end).. shame...

2011-04-17T15:50:00.000-07:00

Hmm well adhering to rules and backed into a corner (covered in paint) I must post images without the desire to share. All consumed with moving house , office and redecorating I regretfully report I have failed to shoot an image I've been able to smile at...

Instead of a beautiful image I thought I'd post one of my trusted wee man Tim Bowditch.. the lad was a star on a recent commission form the Saturday telegraph. Check out American Apparell meets Henman and Thunderbirds... yehhhhhh... let s all pray my Bronica dusts itself off before Thursday! xx

ps and an old one for my late sins:

No image of the week...yet... Alas in the midst of moving I canne upload an image..image of the weekend?.

2011-04-15T14:50:00.001-07:00

Not a mere unpunctual excuse but I regretfully type on my frustration mass frustration.

Two reasons, one for not being able to upload an image and keep the trend and two, for not taking an image this week I am itching to reveal. This is no typical rant of low self confidence or self punishment but actually just a wee blurb of rage. My bronica is hibernating and I'm beginning to forget how to load film.

Net should be up by the morrow eve so I'll post a cheeky one of mr Bowditch.... Until then I shall walk the streets with my head bowed in shame and scrap book at the ready... X

Image of the week...ouch

2011-04-08T03:20:00.000-07:00

Ritually starting with an apology, I give you, in exchange a chance to laugh at my excuse. The decision not to post last night was thankfully made with the rational and sensible part of my brain... After enjoying a fab event held by creative review I soon realised the concoction of champagne and white wine had taken a devilish grip. Unfortunately I didn't fully register this until I (oh so gracelessly) greeted the pavement during an ambitious and foolish cycle home... error. I am now sporting a HOT beard like graze on my chin which I guess is well deserved punishment for not using my sense.

Needless to say as I sat at my desk last night I came to the conclusion any emails or blogging may result in regret... so embarrassing injuries and late blogging is something I take full responsibility for..

A few more images from the SIRE shoot as it all comes together post production wise. I'm really looking forward to seeing the ads big and I am intrigued as to how they may change.

I think I need to shoot some more film as I'm definitely feeling a massive yearning for some Bronica play time.... that's my goal for next week...

Image (s) of the week.. fooooooolishly late...ooo Pannack shoots a roll of Agfa..

2011-04-01T02:55:00.000-07:00

Late last night my eyes could take no more and I decided the nest was calling much to my annoyance, so once again apologies for my late post (grrrrr)

Anywhooo I decided to post something with a story this week and that's one reason I didn't just chuck an image up last night.

As the rules state I have posted more than one.. here be the tale...

Mike Leigh, I was warned, was going to be a tough one. Many a folk informed me that he may not be in the mood, may be hard work and a challenging subject. Hearing these warnings mixed in with the stressful ingredients of extremely limited time and a limited and uninspiring location meant I needed to be well prepared. We were told we would have 25 mins to shoot which I was sure would be long enough to take pictures , but feared it would not give me a chance to connect with him or produce anything creative. The office we were due to shoot in is based in soho on busy Greek st.

With a job like this, fight or flight kicks in and the game show lights and starting whistle spring to mind ... the clock is set and the trainers are tied. So on arrival we had 15 mins to set up then our shoot time after the interview.

The greeting from Mike was... assertive and I could instantly tell he wanted to get it over and done with. He demanded to shoot outside and not in the office. I agreed and my trusty assistant Callum Toy and I danced off to explore busy Soho....

HOWEVER... this initial negative start seemed contrary to the 20 minutes allocated that followed....

I walked with Mike , asked his suggestions and showed him the spots I felt may be efficient and fitting. He agreed and as every second continued, warmed up like bread in an oven. The initial closed man I met disappeared to reveal a aimiable, interesting character.

In the pitter patter of cats and dogs I thoroughly enjoyed the shoot, the conversation and to see him smile, relax and engage (and I perhaps naively) feel this was genuine.

As we closed the shoot ahead of time and returned to the office with him to collect our gear I chanced the risk of speaking without thinking ( something I tend to do far too often) and bluntly but respectfully said:

" Do you know what Mike? I thought you were going to be a bloody nightmare... but actually, you were lovely and I really enjoyed it, thank you, I really appreciate it."

As my lips closed and the synapses kicked in, I realized this was proberbly a bit of an error... hmmm... but to my relief he replied:

" Funnily enough so did I! I thought it was going to be awful, but actually it was great and you're lovely... Callum tell her she's lovely wont you."

What a compliment! Thanks to Callum's calm and great attitude and a bit of luck I skipped him off to the infamous Maison Bertaux for gourmet tea , cakes and thanks...x

Image of the crazy week

2011-03-24T16:29:00.000-07:00

Crazy week is an understatement.. the shoot for 180 was a bigun and as it crept ever nearer the mountain of emails, schedules and call sheets finally drew to a close and the fun began.. Hyped and ready to go, the invicible team conquered the many obstacles thrown at us with ease, serene confidence and general all round coolness.... most importantly we had a bloody good time ..

The campaign was for a non profit charity raising awareness of the affects of divorce and separation on young children.

The location was an ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmazing swish pad in Notting Hill that clearly belonged on CRIBS.

The models were cast by the film crew aged 8 - 11.. all pretty damn cute.

The production on this one was pretty immense.. by 9 am The mammoth abode was filled to the brim. There were runners for runners , assistants for assistants and stylists for stylists . Thankfully no one under 11 (or Ollie) were given smarties or anything to trigger a sugar high. Instead we became slaves to the bean and departed to a much needed alternative location for alcoholic beverages for the debrief and selection..

The amazing crew, the agency ( and I'm not just saying this) were bloody wicked, ensuring smiles all round

SO here s a sneak peak of a couple ..

MY THANKS TO TEAM PANNACK -

Ollie whitehead, Will Grundy, Callum Toy... Legends xx

Major thanks go to the crew... boys without you on the team my sanity and fatigue would have been ...well... buggered.. ta kids xxx

Image of the week... the lost rolls..

2011-03-17T16:41:00.000-07:00

The neglect of my Bronica brings tears to my eyes as yet another week of househunting becomes my full time job title. However... instead of spieling defeat I chose to nip down on my grown up wheels to 4corners and collect a batch of rolls I found under my bed that I admittedly knew were unprocessed rolls of crud...

But perhaps even if an image is 'unsuccessful' it is still valid as a record of memory and growth. These are from one my first ever trips with my dear friend Mr. Chau. The images serve a great purpose in reminding me of his wisdom.

Consoling me after I re emerged from a camp site deflated and disappointed mummering the simple phrase:

"Nah...nothing.. really didn't work",

Hin responded with an oracle and all knowing tone of:

"Ahhh the British campsite... the mirage of photography. A beautiful scene from afar but impossible to capture"

So I dedicate this post to him, and to all of the unprocessed and unloved rolls that remind me I shot out of love , a reminder of the journey to that elated feeling of really 'capturing' the unknown.

This image is from the feature last week in The Sunday Telegraph Magazine. Jemima was an incredible subject. Owen and I found ourselves stranded in a land of isolation holding only 1 train every few hours. Spending ample time with Jemima meant we really got to hear her story of her battle with her crack and herion addictions and her immense talent. As we strolled the chilled and fresh grounds of the countryside and tasted the country space she lightly told of memories of her audition for the Royal philharmonic orchestra (she nailed 3 crack pipes... and then got in.. the girl has skills on the harp!)

Her honest, open and strong approach to discussing her life was both inspiring and interesting and to hear it in such a beautiful but isolated and lonely place felt all the more powerful.

My thanks to Jemima for her unrequested rectitude, her mum for the taxi rides and Owen for his patience and hard work.

Image of the week... deadline passed tisk tisk.. perhaps I should change it to Friday...

2011-03-11T15:32:00.001-08:00

Wow two weeks in a row...what a bloody disgrace! House hunting has taken over my headspace and even venting on these walls slipped my mind.. Laura I am disappointed in you..

However I've squeezed this in bashfully before Saturday and PROMISE next week to be on time ...or early. This Sunday sees a treat in the form of two editorials.. My first ever little snap for the Independent on Sunday and a really interesting feature in Stella magazine in the Sunday Telegraph.

I find it ironic that I strive to abolish stereotypes within my subject matter yet I pre judge many of my subjects for commissions solely on a short phone conversation or email contact.

This week taught me not only the pointlessness of this narrow minded approach but also how wrong I can be. As a rushed and blunt Oliver barked at me down the phone I grew apprehensive about the unprepared shoot that lay ahead the following day. I expected an impatient, stiff and aggravated ego to give me limited time and show no interest in the shoot.. I could not have (luckily ) been more wrong.

A warm and calm Oliver Peyton met me punctually at the restaurant the following day and offered a calm and comical persona ( and a delicious strong coffee). He relaxed into being himself and enjoyed the play time of creating an image. His fun and charismatic behaviour helped create an honest and personal image for the piece. My thanks to Daniel for his patience, hard work and preparation and to Oliver and all of his team for a stress free and fun shoot.

Next week... treats and punctuality.. peeerrromise

x

shit...... Thursday slyly cruised by.. imageS of the week for punishment...

2011-03-04T12:03:00.000-08:00

Darn it.. how on earth did I forget? Shame on you Pannack.. one rule..one.. hmm well due to the alziemers kicking in slightly earlier than expected I shall be posting more than one image and I'm gonna make it a special one..

During an insanely manic week I was blessed with a treat that had been booked for months. After RAW magazine beautifully printed a large portfolio of my work I was contacted by the writer asking if he could do a feature on me for a separate magazine. He said he was coming to London to interview me and naturally I was flattered. We then thought it would be really nice to involve another photographer. He said it would be great to get a finish photographer based in London.... enter Nelli...

After many an email we rested on a fine plan to spend the day together, see an exhibition , do our interviews and both take a portrait of each other. I asked Nelli if she could bring something specific to her but she said that the only thing she could think of were dogs but everything associated with her pooch remained back in Finland... hence my chosen location of Hyde park..

The day in summary was one of fun and the experience of being photographed was really enjoyable. I realized actually that I need to be kinder to my subjects as Nelli treated me with gentle respect and relaxing and connecting was easy. Her portrait of me in honesty is the first picture anyone has ever taken of me that I actually like. She is a brilliant photographer and I feel honored to have met her.

My pictures of her were less epic but it reflects a great day and that lovely excitement of limiting yourself to one roll of film...it's the simple things xx

image of the week... in need of Bronica time

2011-02-24T16:00:00.001-08:00

I feel a huge urge to run off into the mist with my Bronica. Instead of being a moaning minnie I think a few personal project shoots need to be arranged before I start watching daytime TV and adopt several cats...photography can be therapeutic as well as enjoyable...

Sooooo as I post ignoring the minute has passed my Cinderella 12 am deadline I ask for the benefit of the doubt (in 'just a minute' terms).

This is the last of the lot I am showing from The Sunday Times feature on anorexia. A few more of Becky... next week hopefully I can post the results of my fun commissions with the new kid on the block Ollie.. until then..xx

Image of the week....printed and not printed

2011-02-17T15:06:00.000-08:00

THURSDAY my calender shouts..

The past week or so has been a mixture of extremes.. a whirlwind of life and work events , so before I photo rant I'd like to thank anyone who reads this who knows me and has been a great legend of support... you've kept me sane and smiling.. ta..xx

Back to tales of adventures... The Newstatesman commissioned me this week and I was delighted to shoot something a bit different despite my wagon taking aonther slog across the country to visit the lovely town of Brownhills.

The young people kindly volunteered and patiently and tenaciously overcame each and every problem the day threw at us...from busy roundabouts to rain and cold. They were polite, engaged and understanding . As I shouted over the the noise of cats, dogs and gails they helped tell the story of a ghost town full of frustration and empty promise.

My thanks to Ollie and his lovely girlfriend Dilek who patiently awaited the return of her Romeo. The piece has been published this week so I've attached one that was printed and one that hasn't...

Next time I'm catching the train so that wecan finish the day with a quality glass of vino from the tempting public house 'The Hussy's Arms'... until then ...

Image of the week.. a BIG treat... ( well 5 x 4 inches big)

2011-02-10T10:39:00.000-08:00

hohohoooo that's right ladies and gents I was fortunate enough to be offered to shoot a sheet of 5x4 when I recently took a new assistant on. Ollie Whitehead has joined the Pannack squad and what better way to start him off than to lugg him along to meet Toni for my project Harmless.

I knew that if he could make her feel at ease it would work out. This would be particularly challenging for him as Toni has had several extreme bad experiences with men in her past that have then provoked her to self harm. He generously hauled the 5x4 along and during the shoot I asked if we could whip it out for our last shot as Mr 'Sun' lazily bailed early doors as always at the moment. I've never shot large format and always wanted to. It goes without saying it will take a bit of practice but the thrill was one that has definitely wettend the appetite.

Toni has self harmed for several years and after a cuppa her guard dropped and she really did vent her heart out. Revealing a variety of ways she has induced self harm over the years. From inserting paper clips into her skin to setting alight her torso and legs, she really has inflicted severe physical damage to her body. But my intention is not to just display the results of this self punishment but hint as to the individuals story and connect with my subject. Unfortunately this image now appears too obvious despite the concept actually being far more complex. However with pleasure often comes sacrifice, and with this instance a mistake. You see, my idea was actually to have two shadows behind Toni. One from her and one from Ollie. She discussed having two sides to her disorder. The self harm became her friend as well as her enemy and I thought shadows and reflections may be a good way to communicate this.

However when caught up in the technical obligations of large format Ollie and I oversaw the fact that him removing the dark slide whilst I pressed the shutter resulted in an absent shadow... Doh!

I have chosen to keep the negs dirty as I think the scratched and dust echo a slight aggression and imperfection. I don't mean too be arty but I really like these little marks and 'scars' and think they suit the project well.

The experience was still one of fun, exploration and initiation... I look forward to exploring it more, when it feels right... x

image of the week..it's coming this week, not last.. my bad

2011-02-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

Cutting it fine is always more fun and seems to be more than a habit for me... but after all, it's those Indiana Jones moments that keep us on the edge of our seats ... perhaps being risky is a lame excuse for my lack of punctuality but hey...

Enough rambling.. I apologize and bury my face in shame for thinking that the feature in the Sunday Times was last weekend when it is actually due out this weekend... so for all of you that spent your £2.20 just for me..(mum) I shall return the dollar with my chin tucked neatly to my neck...

Here's one of Becky .. I may post more from this feature as often with a shoot you have an edit that never gets seen... I'll be sure to throw in some other random pictures intermitently to keep the blog 'fresh' so to speak..

Delve deep for loose sterling and pull the sofa to pieces if you desire to see the feature this sunday... xx

Image of the week...pre sunday treat

2011-01-27T14:38:00.000-08:00

As I smuggly type at 22.56pm I pat myself on the back and relish the rare punctual post...

I show appreciation for your following by revealing a pre Sunday Times feature treat. This image will not actually be in print but was in the final edit. The story is on three different tales of people affected by eating disorders. Personally and directly. It was to say the least a challenging subject due to it's sensitive nature.

As you know, I enjoy working with subjects that in one way or another are hightend in their emotions, have stories to tell and hold a message through their experiences. But with this comes not just learning, intensity and experience but also responsibility, patience and emotion.

By empathizing with people it is often difficult to leave a shoot unaffected....yes, I learn from these days, I am inspired and sometimes saddened by people's stories but most importantly I hope I did everything I could to connect with them .

Regardless of it's darkened topic I really enjoyed this feature and the mag is a delight to work with. I will be posting a few more from this same series that also did not make print.

The feature comes out this Sunday so read more for the details and to see the rest of some of the images.

harmless....

2011-01-20T15:35:00.000-08:00

woop woop...before 12pm... check it out...for once the lady has beat the clock...

SO this week I am not allowed to wallow in self pity and depression as my moaning and negative mumbling is irritating ( myself and you Tim)..

Dust ya self off Pannack and get on with it.

These are a few from a recent Harmless shoot. They are the first lot I've done separate from the commission I sold to The Sunday Telegraph Magazine and it was interesting to work with Rob as both his type of self harm and his coping mechanisms were unusual. His story is complex and he has faced a difficult time, however rather than delve into the details I have asked him to submit some writing but until I hear back I thought I'd keep it brief.

I am planning on shooting him a few times to cover the different aspects of his self abuse and journey.

Rob inflicts self harm in a few different ways but the most common being whacking his head against telegraph poles. This is something he has done for years and it varies form acute to frightening episodes where he has fallen unconscious.

All of my subjects have been asked to consider how they cope with the urge to harm themselves . ....cue the hairdryer... one main solution for Rob is to listen to white noise (found in hairdryers, vacuum cleaners, motor engines etc) the heat of the hairdryer compliments the calming affect.

This last frame was one I decided to take out of curiosity. Rob showed me this breathing aparatus for his sleep apnea ( a disorder where upon the patient stops breathing when asleep)

I found this shocking but also really interesting especially as Rob has come so close to death so many times. The idea that his body chooses to not function whilst he sleeps is bizarely horrid.

Rob was warm, welcoming, open and a subject I am looking forward to continue working with, my thanks to him... oh and the legend that be Mr. Joe Starbuck... the wee fella with the daddy of all tash's assisted me on a rainy sunday afternoon.. I still owe him that beer... xx

image of the week.. testing ,testing ,one ..two.. three..

2011-01-13T16:18:00.000-08:00

So not a proud post... damn i really want to take a picture that I am actually slightly chuffed with.. hmmm in the mean time exploring new ideas is the only way to at least move forward. In order to get to grips with my RB I decided to do a mini project called 'what's in the box' just basically shooting a range of scenerios with different people and seeing their reactions to the contents of the box. No one but the sitters will know what is inside and hopefully this element of mystery and vague concept will provide a little bit of fun and get my creative juices going a little. These tests are terrible but it was just to run a roll through and see what occurred...

The other image was from my last trip and one that reminds me that you never know what's going to join you at any moment. On a completely derelict street in the ghost surburban town of King George V darkness loomed . Out of instinct,I decided to raise my camera.... out of nowhere 2 boys sleighed by... click.. spooky.. x

Image of the week... smiles and tears...

2011-01-06T07:48:00.002-08:00

So I decided that as yet again I don't have any image that I can show that I am actually happy with I'd make this post a little bit different.

I am including images that I hope kind of express the way in scenes that you find when walking change your emotions as you discover them.. make you smile,sad, angry or just really confused.

When I embark on little trips, I do so not just to see new things and explore new land but also to give my head time to breathe and my thoughts time to ramble. I enjoy my own company (yup i'm a loner from time to time) and find comfort and reassurance with the idea that a journey is not being taken to make imagery but that if I stumble across it , I will do my best to capture and create it.

So on my two very short DLR trips over Christmas ( very short.. hmm, prob why i am not satisfied with my imagery) there were little things that made me ....

sad:

intrigued:

And um.....extremely baffled really.....

I hope that next time I'll be able to post something a little more... well y know.. different..

image of the week...bahhhhhh hummbug

2010-12-30T16:00:00.001-08:00

I sulk as I post as I hate the way that everything bloody closes over the holidays..labs, printers, scanners... hence I am stripped of my freedom to post something that I am happy with.. however I post due to habit and obligation to my rules..

so it's been a funny ol week.. Crisis tradition this year with mum was fab... one birth too... and I met many a homeless folk who told me sad and uplifting tales and played brilliant footy . (Just edited previous post as I suddenly realized how horrible it made me sound.. )

On a completely different note I am loving the fog but hating the darkness. The madness of darkened skies at 2pm means less shooting time and frustration.

The image posted was a commission for my godmother's husband. A family who featured massively in my childhood, The Ramsays' are such special individuals. My godmother has the most incredible ability to describe anything with such vocabulary that you cannot help but linger as she speaks and relish in her tales, Laurie ( my old pal from minor years) is vivacious and incredibly intelligent (now a qualified doctor) and Davey... ahhh the one they call 'Beef' .. a huge desperate Dan of a man entertained Laurie and I in our youth and is a gentle but wholesome character. His 3rd book is being published and he needed a pic for the sleeve.

I jumped at the chance to see them as they visited from Devon and we found the most INCREDIBLE landscape... I am actually not happy with the images but I have vowed with an eager heart to return to the location to shoot... happy relaxing... x

Image of the Week...BRRRRRRRR....

2010-12-23T17:09:00.000-08:00

So in true predictable Pannack style 1.30 am. But as promised I have stuck to my word and applied a punishment.. more than one image features due to not posting officially on Thursday...

From Russia to the depths of the Docklands,my Bronica roamed..all within such a window where the snow touched both..

Even those whose inner child has now died and are fed up with the slush cannot deny a hint of a romantic grin when seeing pile upon pile of snow suddenly fill the floor. Silence fills the air,the pace of life calms and polite greetings to strangers suddenly seem automatic.

A trip to Russia allowed a twenty minute walk down one street before a flight home and my poor Bronica reluctantly sat in my suitcase as we beavered away. My thanks to Tim for his hard work and ability to see in the dark.

Other images result from another recent DLR trip that was short but still proved to satisfy my desire to escape... not quite as fufilling as the seaside, different though.. very different.The maze of estates painted in christmas lights felt other worldly. As the darkness poured in , the fresh walk through what felt like dangerous soil was refreshing, exciting and a blissful dose of breathing space. A time to think, feel and be.

A merry Christmas ... a weird holiday when time stands still and fleets simultaneously from one year to the next....

12..38am.. hmm almost...image of the week..pick n mix..

2010-12-16T15:43:00.000-08:00

So it was close huh?

(Stop stealing the show...)

Timmy yet again makes the cut.. my new years resolution has to be to stop taking pictures of him.. alas he's like a cartoon character awaiting to be drawn. I thought I'd put a few images up from a variety of work.

There is a major element of disappointment and frustration in this post. Due to editorial deadlines I can't post work that has not been printed yet so until the calender allows you'll have to wait for Rob & his mum, Celetse and Anna's parents.

I am feeling rather grey at the moment. After a lush season of ritually shooting personal work,during which loading my Bronica was no longer a pleasure but mere daily routine... I have reached a deadend pit of nothingness.

Collecting dust within my cupboard I shed a tear of frustration that my Bronica has been craddled so little in the past two weeks...

(Harmless- Alison Faulkner)

The murky in-between periods of discovering new projects, contacting subjects for current ones and limited daylight makes madame Pannack slightly sad.

But patience, motivation, optimism and thermals will, I hope, force me to walk a few streets, drive a few miles and take a few trains to explore.The red tape of revealing new commissions will not deter my need for new imagery...stay strong little one.. and get your arse in gear.

It was definitely Impossible

image of the two weeks....

2010-12-09T13:37:00.000-08:00

So as Rupert so rightly pointed out.. it always starts with a self punishing moan and an excuse...

I shun my eyes from my own shame in admitting this is the FIRST week ever I have not uploaded an image last week... power cuts and Russian travels meant that my religious routine has now been broken. I shall however stand undefeated by this depressive fact and for my sins upload a YBN treat.

This is a rule I will now put in place.. if I fail to hit the blogpost Thursday my punishment is to reveal a new YBN treat or upload more than one image before the following Thursday. However one of the main reasons I set myself this deadline on a weekly basis is to encourage a flow of constant new imagery so I shall try extra hard to produce fresh goods for the shelves next Thursday.... the pressure is on...

Image of the Week... Damn you Virgin internet...

2010-11-27T04:37:00.000-08:00

For once my late post is no fault of my own... I have been robbed of internet for days relying on the mini iphone screen and limited ipad treats for my contact with the pixelated world...

Alas my image posting much to my disappointment had to wait until the net decided to miraculously regain it's composure and grant me the world of hermitness at it's own convenience...

As mentioned my weekend trips to continue the Kiss Me Quick Project have also extended to a slightly off subject location of a DLR trail. Jumping on the DLR or cycling my way along the golden blue path I've discovered a land that has captured my imagination. The grime and abstract locations provide a small hub within London for opportunity and no matter how long I live in London I still feel like a tourist so exploring one area at a time seems sensible.

I guess with the changes expected within the East end when healthy folk do their sporty thang I think it's a interesting place to cover and during the winter months may be a good back up option when the snow decides to barricade my path to Western Supermare and other kiss me quick gems I yearn to visit...

There have however been epic disappointments, cold and wet incidents, frustrating visits and subjects that... got away. My thanks to Hin Chau for being great company on the joint trips and for reminding me that taking pictures is not what the travels are about and that decisions to not go on trips are sometimes more sensible...however I am currently compiling a list my warm items of clothing to purchase in preparation for the lost weekends...x

Image of the Week.. Tim ...your pants!

2010-11-18T04:29:00.000-08:00

The dedication and loyalty of a good assistant is one that is willing to sit in his pants in the freezing cold in aid of a promo campaign. Brave Timmy here kindly sported his dashing pantaloons and posed like a pro. LPA are launching their futures competition and have asked me to be a judge. They asked if I had any images that would fit the literal brief of a confused and eager applicant... I said no so devised a plan to get Tim in his knickers and shoot it for them.

The competition launches this week and I hope my image encourages people to enter...my thanks to Luke and his cats, Bridget as always for her help and ...ermmm... someone else but can't think who...oh yeh cheers Bowditch x

image of the week.. ( Is it Friday...? woops)

2010-11-11T17:20:00.000-08:00

So it almost seems predictable that Thursday passes me by and I shamefully post a new image on Friday instead.. however I shall make every effort to make it for Thursday...promise..

So here is part 2 of the self harm project. This is Amy. Amy was such a pleasure to photograph. She was open and honest and realizes the true importance of using one's experiences to help and educate others.

Like all of my subjects their form of self harm is only a small factor in the issue itself and I think one sufferer who I spoke with recently really described it well:

" I self harm to feel pain, a type of emotion that I can comprehend. I am confused by my internal emotions and thoughts and struggle to make sense as to why they exist and how to deal with them. Physical pain gives me the control and safety of feeling that I understand my body and my feelings. "

We all self harm in one form or another, whether it's through lack of sleep, drinking alcohol, smoking, biting our nails, denying ourselves a luxury through guilt.. however these are often seen as everyday acceptable behavior that can be passed off as habits or a choice we make for justified reasons. It is when an individual behaves in a certain way towards themselves that is unrecognized by society as 'normal behavior' that we classify it as self harm or psychotic functioning.

What I want to know with these individuals is how they deal with these urges and how it came about. Why the inside seeps out and line between inner and outer feelings becomes blurred. I wanted to explore the individuals as people with stories,how they deal with their urges and not just addicts of unusual responsive behavior.

The implications of the self harm can in itself be more than or just as harmful to the individual. Lost ties with close ones, isolation, bullying, career opportunities and difficulty in relationships.

Amy was expelled from school due to her self harm (causing her hands to bleed using her nails to pierce her skin) causing distress in other students.

As mentioned other parts to this body of work will progress within time.

Image of the week ( I have an excuse...)

2010-11-05T06:06:00.000-07:00

So I wanted to post a new image but alas as is often the case I am not allowed as it s needed for a release date.. so in the mean time I am posting my favorite image from the YBN series.

I like the painterly feel of this image and I also like that my assistant Tim had a heated debate with his friend that it was photoshopped..haha you should know me better than that!..nope this is an image in it's pure form.. so Tim you win that tenner!

I also wanted to include it as this was not in the feature in the Guardian Weekend last Saturday. Here is the online link if you missed the lovely 6 page spread..

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/2010/oct/30/young-nudists-photographs

http://www.guardian.co.uk/artanddesign/gallery/2010/oct/30/photography-young-british-nudists?intcmp=239

On that note.. I have to vent the tease of making/not making front cover 4 times before they went to print... almost...almost.. but in the end they opted for something else...

so whilst winter hauls it's chill this way YBN will be on hold until next year. Now comes the grey zone of finding and improving new projects...be strong Pannack..

image of the week... 56 mins late.. improvements...

2010-10-28T14:33:00.001-07:00

As promised... due to my crudness I have posted an image from a new project I started about a month or two ago..

The project is on self harm and I am working with a charity called Harmless.In my usual fashion I am exploring a cliche subject where upon we tend to adopt a stereotype to a condition... think self harm... the average member of society jumps to an image of an adolescent girl struggling to cope with teen angst and low self esteem and craves the attention of others...

I aim to challenge these prejudgements in a few different ways.. I am looking at splitting the imagery into a few different sections..

portraits of the individuals and their coping mechanisms, the objects that aid or trigger these emotions and behaviour and lastly doing abstract macro stills of the flesh and markings to form a landscape painting...a work in progress...

Image of the week that flew.. sooo late (sorry)

2010-10-24T04:43:00.001-07:00

Errrm my bad... I had a strange week where I actually seemed to lose a day thinking it was Thursday until 11 30 am on Friday.. oh dear... but the slip in my brain has now decended and I am catching up and ticking the list off bit by bit..

So this weeks images are the reminders of my Bahamas trip.. I really cannot express how pleasant it was to roam in a warm climate.. I only wish it was something I could do more.
On a relevant note I visited Dover for a short trip yesterday and after 2 hours felt uninspired and cold...after trawling through traffic to arrive, I sulkily strolled back to my car only a few hours later feeling unproductive and frustrated. It wasn't that I did not enjoy the space and time to wander and scan my surroundings in my own head, I just craved an interaction with my whereabouts..something to give me a fuzzy feeling of inspired warmth. I kicked myself for not leaving earlier..the journey felt incomplete and my nose was failing to lead me. (I love the expression.."follow your nose")

I am a sucker when the chill hits and need to build up my defences for the winter that cometh in great force..

These images are a reminder of the luxury of walking on foreign soil.. it is something I crave and even driving to Dover gave me a slight buzz at the joy of exploring new lands, I confess my heart craves a world further a field. However, the task of actually capturing a surrounding that is familiar I believe is a far more challenging task.

Photographers produce beautiful imagery by delving into communities and surroundings that are refreshing and adventurous and I envy them greatly, but I do feel that exploring a new world provides epic creative fuel and inspiration. Surveying a place you feel you cannot view from an outsiders perspective means you need to really search for detail and a personal connection. You find what interests you and act, as always, on instinct. So until my bank balance improves I will continue to roam streets that I am accustomed to... to learn, to grow and to challenge my creativity.

Due to the late post of a second edit I hereby promise to unveil a sneaky peak next Thursday of a new project I have just started...

Image of the two weeks.. there's a first time for everything

2010-10-14T03:21:00.000-07:00

So yup it happened. I actually missed a week... forgive my sins.. i was in the Caribbean on a stupidly lucky trip and I seemed to forget the world. I was fortunate enough to grab an all expenses paid trip to the Bahamas for 4 days..a trip of a lifetime with free meals , activities, spa... etc amazing.. despite the monstrous amount of luxury handed to me and the continuous indulgence, I actually discovered my favorite way to relax... I jumped in a cab and headed out of town.. alas my Bronica sulked in my cupboards at home as the trip was part commission and I expected to be rushed off my feet with no opportunity to even dream of street roaming.. regrets.

Anyway in the couple of hours that I wandered in the heat I took a few snaps and relished true indulgence.. for me real guilty pleasures come in the form of my feet, eyes and my camera. Spending time isolated with the freedom to explore is something I will always cherish. With no expectations but a mind clear of stress there is nothing more relaxing and blissful than getting lost with intention.

image of the week..Tim TIME

2010-10-01T16:28:00.000-07:00

what happened here then? I literally completely let Thursday slip me by...ohhh dear...hmmm have I actually lost all sense of time and reality. Mr Bowditch and I have been lovely and busy absolutely thriving on the hectic week and relishing exploring new and exciting projects.

Tim Time:

It's always a treat to greet a subject who is game for a fun photo session..a portrait takes a connection and is based on partnership, trust, emotion and understanding. Fortunately on this occasion my subject embraced the idea of being captured and the day smoothly rolled along like a pleasant day at a theme park.

It seemed our subject Tim not only generously offered his time and patience beyond the demand, but was also determined to have as much fun as us along the way. He was relaxed, optimistic and trustworthy; allowing us to experiment and never doubting our ideas..even if at times they do come across as slightly deranged.

All in all I must thank all three Tims...

Image of the week..check it out ..on time...

2010-09-23T14:38:00.000-07:00

wow so it s all super busy which is lush and I finally got round to photographing Danielle who my eyes begged to photograph. My housemate kindly let me use his room for a brief period... (ta Ben).

I ve attached a few as my editing skills are down tonight... a short but sweet post. My thanks to Danielle and my incredible reflecting holder Lou xx

Image of the week.. standard apology.. impossible friends and great assistants

2010-09-18T03:08:00.000-07:00

So I decided to attached two images this week.. not for reasons of beauty but for reasons of love.. one to my impossible buddy Jonah for the lovely day in Brighton strolling and impossibly trying get images from Polaroid.

Secondly to my incredible assistant Tim Bowditch.. his commitment, patience and humour keep me slightly sane and I feel fortunate to have someone so reliable and hardworking, good work Mr T.. apologies for a short and not visually amazing post but I shall have to doubly make up for it next week....

Impossible Image of the week...really Impossible

2010-09-09T16:25:00.000-07:00

(Image one Arabela is actually facing me.. hair over face.)

It was my turn to take the train and visit the town I always miss.. Jonah is based in Brighton as soon as we met we both had a few locations in mind.. our subject to test the film was a dancer and a good friend of his. With ginger hair and a beautiful figure we were in luck as Arabella was our pocession for the day. A true chance to see how the film behaves and what , if anything we can produce.

We started in the studio testing against plain backgrounds and then hopped on the bus to the marina.

This film is definitely a challenge to say the least and to master it is going to take time and severe amounts of patience! However what is most difficult is knowing what is good and what is bad. I like surreal imagery, obscure marks on film and desaturated colours.. however will these just be viewed as amateurish?

Either way spending the day today was fun and attempting to produce imagery from any camera is always going to inistill warmth within the bones... we managed to finish just before it absolutely pelted it down... a kind cafe rouge took us in and fed and watered our soles as we reflected on the many blank polaroids, the many dark polaroids.. a few that worked!..

Image of the week...an exclusive YBN treat...return from Perpignan..

2010-09-06T04:14:00.000-07:00

So... Perpignan.. wow.. I admit I was concerned and actually almost dreading what I had heard through the photography vine a trip that I would deteste; a circus of competitive docummentary photographers that conquere the beautiful town for a week in September...

However I loved it! There was an often a little over bearing competitive atmosphere but it was partnered with a beautiful supportive and family like community of shared passion.

However I was fortunate, people were kind and great fun. I got the opportunity to meet some brilliant photographers and receive feedback from editors with oracle wisdom.. eat great food, drink lovely wine and banter until silly hours.

My flatmates Toby Smith , Ben Lowey and Jason Larkin were great company and great roomies ( I shall not mention the severe inhumane noise that Toby makes in his sleep)

The response from those I showed my work to was invaluable and it was a pleasure to meet people in person and put faces to emails.

I got to spend some great quality time with Leo Maguire and Guy Martin and after what seems like a whirlwind of a few days it is firmly in my diary for next year. There is too much to vent on my trip.. good and bad experiences but all in all..I had a great time and it's definitely in my diary for 2011..

This image is a treat as my post is late.. another YBN image. I am exploring group shots more and more and want to try and portray a sense of the interactions and activities that take place at the naturist camps/trips.

It's hard, a challenge to say the least as to create something emotional, engaging and beautiful takes time, patience and I am enjoying pushing myself out of my comfort zone and learning new working methods..

image of the week.. impossible to tell ..but it begins

2010-08-27T13:54:00.000-07:00

So I had to wait until the sun (well light) rose this morn to take a picture of OUR pictures.. yup this weeks image of the week is the very first sheets to run through the SX70 for the project Jon Hyde and I will complete for the Impossible Project.

Kindly Jonah trecked it to a very soggy London and we spent the afternoon procrastinating in the warmth of my bedroom before agreeing to hit the cats and dogs in search of enough light to try shooting in. We fiddled with the SX70 and constrcuted a device to catch the film in on it's release. This required incredible mathmatic/architechtual skill, patience and Blue Legume cafe time...Eventually the camera, sporting it's oh so chic hood accompanied us to a wee spot on Church St and I took a picture of Jon. The image he took was in my room.. so who took what?

The images obviously are no where near our goal but i feel these two polaroids are iconic. They mark the beginning of our journey. Working in a medium so unpredictable is refreshing and liberating. The polaroid offers the element of excitemnt you get when you shoot film and wait eagerly at the lab to see what the contacts will reveal..

I actually really like the ghostly surreal results. The aesthetic is one you either love or hate and I think it's fresh to see imagery that has thought and planning behind it (ie not a snapshot) yet provides an aesthetic almost impossible to recreate more than once....The best projects are those that challenge you as an image maker, frustrate you and remind you to play.

image of the week... dare i say it...

2010-08-21T11:51:00.000-07:00

Hin my dear, tis always a pleasure..

so I managed to grab myself a bargain and pick up a Mamiya 645. A test run in the form of hitting the road with Mr Chau was a perfect excuse to escape the smoke. After much, I repeat... much, driving we soon settled for Essex and returned to South end on Sea having disregarded a few towns along the way.

Working without a waist level finder felt challenging and frustrating and this is something I need to sort...ebayyyyy..I struggled to find anything to shoot and Hin and I nestled into a retro dinner after a few umms and arrs.

Seaside cafe's and roadside canteens seem to suck me in as I imagine a congregation of ready to shoot rare characters sipping their murky Tetley or woofing down a plate of chips whilst ranting at their toddlers..

I decided to photograph the owner during a quiet moment and despite the slightly sullen expression she was actually contently reflecting...i like leaving people to think, unfortunately we natrually look sad when we enter our own heads but allowing people time to be with themselves only entices my desire to know what they are thinking and where they are...

image of the week.. 'it all went black'..... a little late..shhhhh

2010-08-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

Surprise bloody surprise, she sadly gets another one in late..shame.. ok so alas above is titled " roll 1 of 19.. it all went black".. perhaps it is finally time to accept the death of the baby Bronica?.. I have a glimpse of hope within my soul..

In the mean time due to a) my crudness at a late post and b)the disaster

I have attached an image from the ybn trip.. 3 frames of the 19 rolls came out and this was one of them.. it's not a fave but I think it deserves a place on the blog simply out of the kindness to exist within the otherwise dead film..

I shall be trying out a new mamiya 645 once i ve bought myself a waist level finder so if anyone knows where i can borrow/get one cheap please do share.. x

image of the week....It has died

2010-08-05T15:18:00.000-07:00

Today has been.. a challenge.. my good friend/lab man Cos delivered the news that all 19 rolls that I shot Mon/Tues have revealed nothing but blank film.. I may just have to accept that my baby Bronica is somewhat dying and that unless miracles are worked by Sendean I am due for a new beast.

Image of the week is a bit different as I cannot reveal commissions before publication, however I thought I'd upload something recent.. that's right ladies and gents, feel no shame, we all shoot weddings now an again and it's the small moments or individuals that amuse me... There are some people I am just drawn to.. I don't know why and to be honest I feel no need to question it...

Image of the week...impossible?...

2010-07-29T17:10:00.000-07:00

so I am super excited as The Impossible Project have kindly agreed :

"our history making, analog venture will be happy to provide you with the range of our already exisiting and upcoming instant film materials in order to show what's possible with them and that there is a choice next to all digital options as a change."

woop de woop.. so now time to play! I 've attached a couple very old polaroid I took when at uni and I think they're pretty much the only ones I ve taken.. so now to continue. I shall be exploring a few different projects which I am very excited about.

But wait the joy only increases as I shall be sharing the adventure with my great friend John Hyde (www.jonathan-hyde.com)... Jon is beautiful and like a child caught in a beareded and well dressed mans body. I'm really looking forward to working with him and we ve already had some exciting thoughts...

What a gorgeous day back in the ol town... coffee on Jon's balcony after a tour of his incredible new nest which would make anyone agoraphobic.. the most overwhelming room of beautiful objects curated in a humble abode...you lucky boy.. then off to lunch with my mentor and old time inspiration/idol Simon Roberts and his gorgeous wife and baby and then a visit to Adrian Turner's studio who kindly lent me the machines for the project. I must admit his treasure cove of cameras was a treat, lovely guy and much appreciation for his genorosity and kindness...then a quick coffee with Ewen Spencer ( a gem of a chap who I will be sure to keep in touch with)...so the rationing of film, organization station of the project and the fun will soon begin... x

Woop de woop.. foto summershow 1st prize best in show..

2010-07-26T05:07:00.000-07:00

http://www.foto8.com/new/news/80-foto8-news/1241-foto8-summershow-best-in-show-2010

I am honored to have received first prize in the host foto8 summer show... I was amazed to have got all three entries into the exhibition to begin with and it's an event I ve been looking forward to. I was also delighted to have some of my great friends to enjoy it with.... I just began a descriptive list and it got silly so to all of them, you are legends, mwahhhhhh x

what a night. In all honesty I completely forgot the show was a contest as I look forward to it every year..a chance to have drinks and food with great people, see top quality imagery and have a damn good time. So when they announced I had won I was thrilled.

After drinking several glasses of vino, the realization of responsibility hit me and I hopped on my wheels ( the wee raliegh burner) and ventured homebound sad to miss the after party... but one must behave...

I shall be taking shay out to celebrate and giving her a lovely print and I really am so grateful to all the team at Host. It's a gallery that I constantly natter about as they put on great socials.. lectures and slideshows. If you etc a chance do check out the show... big up to harry, John, Sasha and the gang.. thank youuuuuu

i know..... i know....

2010-07-23T08:54:00.000-07:00

Shame on me for a late post.. i ve been working hard on a couple of campaigns whilst trying to YBN it as much as poss.

So i thought I d post a little evidence..

I've just finished shooting for a great charity called Fairbridge and we managed to cram in 10 portraits into 1 and a half days..

Here's a bit of blurb:

Inside every disadvantaged young person, there is a confident, positive, individual trying to break out. Last year, Fairbridge helped 4,000 take their first step. Most were classed as having ‘multiple needs’, such as homelessness, substance misuse or a history of offending.

I was asked to shoot a mixture of those that they have helped and the people who make Fairbridge happen. I ve only gone through a few so here's 2 shots..

All of the team were lovely and without their support and hardwork it could have been a real mission to organize.

Daniel Lillie was at hand and it was great to work with the ol boy again ... but my new resolution is definitely to treat my assistants better as I ve been barking recently which is not on and for that Daniel yes I do owe you beer and thanks for understanding..

As always great fun and some interesting stories..

And ce soir.. woop de woop, sell out Host summer show means I may well be drinking beverages of an alcoholic nature and look forward to see the work as it looks fab online..if you were quick enough to get a ticket I'll see you there! xx

image of the week...6x8 mag back so again its not a gem but a promise is a promise...

2010-07-15T15:10:00.000-07:00

A gaffa taped up Bronica means that exploring new cameras is a must and this is a test from the 6x8 mag back on an RB67 I managed to get hold of.

Say hello to housemate Ben... Ben kindly lent me his mug to test the beast on.. As I clambered onto a chair and wrestled with a strange new box it made me realize that I need to experiment..next to try is 5x4...time, patience, camera and dollar is all that is preventing me ..but soon..

Ta again Benjamin xx

On a seperate note here is a commission from the Guardian that they have presented in a vid which was nice...

http://s3.video.ketnooi.com/source.html?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww[dot]guardian[dot]co[dot]uk%2Fbooks%2Finteractive%2F2010%2Fmar%2F24%2Frupert-thomson

And finally pluggy plug plug: http://www.foto8.com/new/summer-show-mainmenu-191

Grab yourself a ticket and join us for munch and cocktails ..and of course great photography.. i am honoured to have 3 prints in the show and be exhibited alongside some great photographers as well as great friends.. Daniel Lillie, Toby Smith,Poulomi Basu, Harry Borden as well as many others... I am looking forward to it.. xx

l'image de la semaine

2010-07-08T08:17:00.000-07:00

Salut...wow Arles is truly amazing I am definitely returning next year.. I have transformed into a sleeping ,drinking mosquito bite. I did bring my camera and have not taken one image.. not one.. in 6 days.. hmmm..perhaps I should... maybe it is too much being surrounded by so much photography and so many photographers. I feel too self conscious and begin to requestion what I choose to capture instead of remembering that the only way to learn is by making mistakes.. or perhaps it is the lazy side that wishes not to slug round a camera in the heat..

so alas I have no french treats but I am however sticking to my rule and posting an image shot on film... I confess I am not proud of this one but it just makes me laugh..therefore I shall have to work hard to make something pretty for next week xx

Image of the week... and off to Arles I go...

2010-07-01T16:40:00.000-07:00

There are some people I see and instantly want to photograph... enter Tony...

It would be no exaggeration to say that I stepped back into 1933 when one of the ybn trips I organised last weekend was at a site with no electricity and that had clearly held it's charm and remained unspoilt by any modern conversions. As my wagon jolted over the various bumps and off road ditches I halted to find two men on a tractor one of whom shouted " Aye, ya must be Laura...".. The hypnotic green eyes of our host begged me to request a portrait later in the weekend.

The visits have taken me to Manchester, Cambridge and various other UK spots and it is interesting to experience the difference in the clubs. Some are simple and charming and the small network provides a loving community and others are more equipped and provide spa like facilities for an indulgent guest.

Back at Pheonix after my four hour mission we arrived at a quaintly kept pavillion with a beautifully laid table, adorning ham and cheese sandwiches cut into triangles and home made triffle. The contrasting generations mixed effortlessly and we talked until early hours...

I am now off to Arles (some of which I may find myself homeless and broke) but the festival calls as does the adventure.. I'm looking forward to gaining some inspiration, drinking some french wine and spending time with some great friends...au revoir for now.. x

Image of the week...

2010-06-24T16:32:00.001-07:00

Yup yup another trip with a great friend and great photographer Hin Chua... (http://www.hinius.net/)

As I patiently apply gaffa tape to the rear of my Bronica and several parts fly off in various directions I continue to push my baby Bronica to it's limits and drag it out into the pouring rain on Folkstone beach. Coversation is never dead with Hin and as we walk in the pelting rain and stumble across a young girl running from her village of sand castles. I leap and ask where her parents are and drop to my knees a few seconds later with her placed proudly in front of me, intrigued by the soaking wet tourist.

As I feel the puddles in the sand around my knees and I hold the gaffa tape in place whilst winding the film on I smile to myself feeling like a child at play.. For both Hin and myself photo wise not the most successful image making trip but a bloody good chin wag and a well overdue catch up. It is important for me to remmeber that sometimes it is the images I choose not to take that makes me a photographer..xx

image of the week... broken boxes..

2010-06-20T01:57:00.000-07:00

I hang my head in shame... another week of a late upload due to more crud news. I am currently sporting my just returned baby Bronica wrapped in white gaffa tape and my digital camera sits sadly in Fixation awaiting a hefty bit of TLC..yup that's both cameras, both lenses and a flashgun..oh joy.. so spending time with a rented mark 2 and trying desperately to stay strong and patient I decided that despite not being able to shoot last week for the blog I'd still upload a few pics.

First is a commission for Stella magazine (The Sunday Telegraph). Sandy has now married 2 men on death row and been to both of their executions. I was intrigued to know what brought her to...

a) engage in a relationship with murderers
b) choose a relationship where visits would be challenging and infrequent and the basis of which relied on hand written letters
c)what affects the relationships had on her

Greeted warmly by Sandy, my assistant and I instantly felt relaxed amongst her walls adorned with pictures of fluffy kittens and her cats roaming teasingly around our ankles.

Over a lovely coffee we chatted about her complex relationships with all of those she writes to on death row and she explained that these men are gifted , kind and loving and that many of them show her great affection and gratitude.She proudly showed us love letters and cards of thanks hand drawn by various prisoners. It was interesting to see how devoted she was to these men and how their crimes seemed to be irrelevant. Sandy was a pleasure to photograph and my upmost thanks to Poulomi for her assistance.

I have also slung in a few images that I was forced to shot digitally grrr on a trip to Portsmouth with my great friend and legendary photographer Ben Roberts.Next Thursday I'm on it!

Image of the week...the one that got away...

2010-06-10T17:36:00.001-07:00

It is a sad post I confess... I regretfully deliver the news that my baby is sick..yes my trusty little Bronica has a leak bless her..however I have finally recieved a little gift promised to me for many years..unfortunately it's not quite what i need but it's definitely tempted my appetite for moving to a slightly larger format. I recently recieved an RB 6x7..so now I'm on the hunt to exchange it for an RZ.. my lovely house mate Ben let me test it's cogs but I will display the image once permission is gained..so alas I leave you with this intriguing puzzle..what could have been?

Also

Here's an old film I fished out of a bag I mark "trips and unknown treasures"..it's a collection of rolls I discover at the bottom of bags, in the lining of my jackets..or simply feel no urgency to process as they tend to consist of negs that I am not itching to uncover but I thought I'd put this up anyway...

Image of the Week....

2010-06-03T16:11:00.000-07:00

Beautiful Jonah....

With hazy heads and weary bones after a few too may glasses of vino the previous night we decided the perfect remedy would consist of fog, hills and a roll of 120 Reala.. My wagon climbed the hills of Brighton as the cats and dogs plummeted down and we drove until inspiration struck.

Mimicking the roller hockey scene in 'Waynes World' we dodged camouflaged cars and embraced the torrential rain and mist. I choose the orange bag as a prop as in fog it is easy to lose a subject to such beautiful but very flat conditions, which often like many other things just don't translate onto film. Lushly soaked but nattering we climbed back into the warm hub and bobbed back to the reality of a sulky Sussex town.

I have no idea if these work but Jonah was the perfect model; free, expressive and most importantly himself. i look forward to another adventure with a great photographer, friend and subject... xx

better late than never?

2010-05-30T02:31:00.000-07:00

So I am rubbish and last Thursday failed to post an image of the week.. it's been a manic week of planning future trips and also I wanted to hold back on showing anymore naked treats as it will spoil the unveiling of the project. So in reflection of this I'm posting an image that is new from the ybn series but will not be used in the final edit as it's not a fav.... my blog concept.. a marker in my naked posts by using an image that is ambiguous, anonymous yet hopefully intriguing as the sitters identity is unknown.. in turn this will encourage me to shoot other things to post so that each week there will be a true surprise in the adventures of Pannack and her Bronica..also I am not posting commissions until they are printed so there are images to show but they will have to wait..perhaps now and again my temptaion will reside and I'll spring up a nakey treat but for now here is the image of the week until next Thursday.. thanks for the patience kids...x

Image of the Week...something a little different

2010-05-20T12:52:00.000-07:00

A while ago I posted some images from a commission I completed for the Arts Council on women and aging. As explained my brief was to explore the different ways in which women in their 60's,70's and 80's feel about their age and how the media presents their age group.

I planned my initial meeting with the women to act as an introduction but also to really gage their ideas and how they responded to imagery. I asked them prior to our meet to gather images of their mothers at the age that they are at now as well as any images they liked. The session was a great success and their response was that they felt positive looking at the old pictures and in actual fact felt they looked younger than their mothers. We all loved the aesthetic of the photographs and agreed that images today tend to veer more on the side of commercial advertising and occasionally cheesy. They felt the media presents an extreme sterio-type of women within their age group. Either highly unrealistic models of women who resort to things like botox and surgery to gain a more youthful appearance or the opposite by showing frail and vulnerable elderly women often housebound or victims of society.

As well as working closely with each women and producing images of them in their own enviroments/workplaces etc and showing that they are active, fun and vibrant individuals I also thought it would be a nice idea to add a separate part to the project and reflect on this initial observation...

sooooooooooooo to cut a ramble short I decided to work closely with the legend that is Cos at Hammerlab ( where I get all my processing and printing done - 07790774417) and aim to recreate an aesthetic that links closely to the images they had shown me.

The results were the images above and I think with more time, budget and resources the results could have been stronger but given the time frame and tools we had I like the softness and tonal feel of the images. Thanks Cos for all of your hard work XX

image of the week - another from the dam....with added cake

2010-05-13T14:41:00.000-07:00

This image although not a fav , entertains me and I wanted to post it because I hope you too will find amusement at a large camp dutch man walking his unruly pupp at 7 am on a bitterly cold and windy day in Amsterdam

From the same roll that I posted last week this was going back to my roots of street photography . The frustration lies in the limited amount of control over light, composition and expression but the joy lies in the unexpected chance of discovering moments and individuals that capture your imagination and give you a small glimpse into their daily lives.

This other image is for The Most Cake.(hence the candle..) My good friend Holly urgently asked me to cover her on a shoot and I was happy to help as holly has always done her best to help me out in times of need....alas I will not go into a rant but I can safely say that after waiting 3 and half hours and then being told that the subject wished not to be photographed with no chance of wooing or persuasion...I have only a test to show..

Image of the week...and wpp news

2010-05-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

Sorry sorry sorry, not only due to being out of the country last week did I fail to post ( I hang my head in shame) ...but this post is also late...

A little image of the week ,not my proudest but a joy to return to the streets to play and snap and something I am itching to do more.

The world Press Photo weekend was one of the best weekends I've had in what seems like ions and it was inspiring, surreal and pretty much a dream come true.

Deciding to make the most of the weekend on arrival I checked in to the super posh hotel that myself and the other 1st prize winners had been kindly accomodated to by WPP and got straight on the blower to all the winners...

"Oh hi is that Eugene Richards? hi Eugene it's Laura Pannack, I just wondered if you fancied going for dinner/drinks this evening?...cool see you in the lobby at 8"

Fifteen minutes later I am sat in a nearby Italian with some of the loveliest most inspiring people and I knew the weekend was going to be great fun. I nervously delivered my presentation and absolutely relished listening to the stories and advice from the other winners,. The final evening involved some old school mary j bliege body popping with Paul Lowe ruling the dance floor.

So what is the pic of then? ... well it was Queens day during my visit (a massive Notting Hill carnival like holiday) I crave serenity during such fun but hectic events so woke in the early hours on the first day and decided to try and get lost in the Dam with my baby Bronica. I really embraced the idea of strolling and exploring and although my hands were too cold and brain a bit fuzzy to compose and shoot properly I managed to capture a few things to remind me of the walk.

My thanks to World Press Photo for an incredible weekend and to Joe Petersburger for his warmth and laptop charger xx

Image of the week.. a nakey treat

2010-04-22T15:31:00.000-07:00

Should we drive back?...It's quite far...do we have time?... We managed to fit in at least 6 shoots a day on our Manchester trip (posted last week) and on the first day (on our way) I arranged to photograph Jon for my YBN project. With so many of the volunteers I have sourced living so far I simply couldn't afford not to make sure I allowed extra time by arriving a day early to squeeze the shoot in. However traffic was crud and time quickly escaped me as we shot. When I finally found the shot I wanted Jon ran out time and had to leave. I managed to get one frame on film and i knew I had it digitally but not on film...

So here lies the dilemma......I shoot the assignment but I have an itching desire to return to Jon at some point and shoot on film so i can be sure I have the image I want on negative. In order to do this I obviously prioritize the commission and decide that if I can handle the extra 2 hours drive on top of the 6 hours home I will return. As expected that itch was too strong to resist scratching and the A6 called my wagon..

With lots of organization, hardwork and coffee ( I am literally a slave to the bean in Daniel's words) I managed to drive the extra few hours on the way home and squeeze the other half of the shoot in to recapture the shot on film.

I was lucky, Jon was patient and understanding and Tim faced the random and unexpected challenge of assisting on a YBN shoot (which I rarely ask people to do).

I was slightly concerned with throwing the request at him but he handled it brilliantly and made sure myself and Jon felt at ease and I am sure Jon will agree the feel of the shoot was very relaxed.

So after a crap day today I decided to treat my stressed soul to an immacon scan and get these up... I praise Tim for his dedication and assistance and Jon for his patience.

better late than never... i hope...

2010-04-16T15:54:00.000-07:00

Forgive my unpunctual post ... My tyres hit Bolton for a 3 day assignment on 'Motorway Men' (cover and 6 pages for an overseas weekend magazine)...ironically after the first day it seems I fit this title more than my subjects as my toothbrush gleams ready for use on the dashboard and the jumble sale of coffee cups seems to be slowly conquering the front deck.

A busy but fun week which prevented me from posting Thursday as promised... 00:14 bugger I didn't even make Friday..

Back in London it would be no understatement to say I actually feel like I have returned from a foreign land.. The assignment was full on as nothing had been proposed and all shoots/images had to be sourced, organized and doccumented.. research and long days were a must...resulting in meeting some really diverse and interesting people, expanding my political knowledge and exploring the land of Bolton..

Sachas hotel provided me with great 'air con' (two broken windows) and half a bath...woop woop... but it is I who is to blame for refusing to commit to the predictable and reliable chain hotels...there's something exciting about checking into a random hotel/motel and the 50's decor is always a winner (especially teamed with an empty casino basement)...

Tim was my assisting companion and forgave me for one childish outburst of rage in the carpark.. (thank you), assisted brilliantly , kept me awake for the long drives.. and completed the challenge of assisting on a YBN shoot that I arranged to coincide.

Now the edit begins but for my sins I have posted a selection on my way through the images.. next week I promise to be on time...my thanks to Tim and all of our willing particpants..

Image of The Week... a YBN treat...

2010-04-08T15:05:00.000-07:00

I thought I'd put up a recent YBN image to add to the edit. The project is proving highly stressful and I need to swing into organization station mode and plan my summer shoots..

This is Kay. Some shoots flow and pan out pretty much as you'd expect but Kay was different. The longer I spent shooting her, the more I learnt. I always speak to my models about their passions and interests prior to the shoot as I want these images to be about these people not their nudity.

Kay's unusual interest in Dolls houses already provided an interesting starting point but as the shoot continued more of her interests were revealed. However sometimes it can be overwhelming when there are many elements you want to include and I found myself actually veering away from squeezing too many of her interests and just concentrating on her, hinting subtly to her passion for dolls houses.

Kay was warm, polite and very interesting to photograph. my thanks to her for her patience and time and to her mum for being so welcoming!

x

Image of the week..."Frosties are just Cornflakes for people who can't face reality!"

2010-04-01T11:31:00.001-07:00

What a treat.. The Peep Show is pretty much one of my favs so I was blessed with shooting 1 half of the duo for The Sunday Times mag..

Alas it was less simple than expected. As usual we arrived early despite getting stuck in monstrous traffic and paid a years wages in parking... but once we had landed we met the PR and writer and began to prep.

I understand that sometimes time is tight which is cool, but on this particular occasion I was pretty shocked when the interview took 50 mins and I was given only 15 mins when promised an hour ...however it's the nature of the job and just means you have to be super efficient, super patient and super prepared and ...enjoy it!

It's a shame as I always like to get as much of an opportunity to know my subjects as possible.However on this occasion I was blessed with a subject who knew how to react in front of the lens and with encouragement could throw me a range of expressions on demand. Unfortunately Robert wasn't up for a few ideas I had planned but was a great sport and really helped us make the most of the time we had. In what seemed like the shortest 15 mins ever but I managed to whack out a roll of film too.

Tim, as always did a fab job and thoroughly rinsed me on the drive home for my nervous awkward small talk that I posed to Robert to try and create a little friendly banter. Unfortunately I think he just thought I was weird as I somehow managed to ramble on about cat shit and Bernard's watch...hmmm.. However much appreciation as he was clearly knackered after a long day and not in the mood but warmed to us and gave us his time before being thrown into a cab.

Like always I treated the shoot as a game/ a challenge.. the countdown of 15 minutes was my window to play and get as much done until the whistle goes...

Thanks to Tim (for wearing womens clothes....) and Robert...x

un)

image of the week....

2010-03-25T15:06:00.000-07:00

tobyyyyyyyyyyyy...

I gaze to my right at Toby as we both sit tight lipped, with brains synced at the hiarious situation we find ourselves in...

" I think you go over the..or is it right...maybe it's back that way? Is it that way Barbara?...Ohhh, maybe it was left, I'll tell you what, this was the way I thought we were coming but now I ve realized... oh right! right! right! here...oh no you can't ...hmmm ok well it was definitely back there...ohh Susan 'member those road works they had down there last summer...left! ..."

Blocking out the screams of tangled directions from two 80 year olds in the back of the wagon who are most definitely still fired up after a good shoot in full costume we meander round Sheffield avoiding several near misses.

Thankfully we arrive at our destination and a few G&T's later the fiery group of Green Estate women are giggling and snapping away.

Toby has been my assistant on the Sheffield commission (posted last week) He has been patient and polite and broken a few hearts I imagine ...as when I shot today without an assistant the look of disappointment in the eyes of the women searching for a shadow behind me clearly confirmed he was a hit with the group.

Assisting on sensitive and intimate portraits to helping me round up 50 kids in an ice hockey rink, to tableau shots and pub drinking Toby did very well.

This image was from a shoot Toby helped me on this week. I love shooting in schools, they are proberbly one of my favourite locations and I'm happy to say this one had character and a great vibe.

As we swept aside a mountian of crusts and cucmber pieces to reveal a silenced and evacuated lunch hall I tested a shot on Toby. Both only having a few hours sleep and exhausted from the mission we tested in silence and the serene moment was a perfect start to calm the brain.

Image(s) of the week....(forgive me for my sins, how is it Friday already?)

2010-03-19T01:12:00.000-07:00

It seems the hectic week has engulfed my sense of time and I somehow discovered today was Friday just now...hence the delay.

This is a commission from the arts council website I have been doing in Sheffield for about 3 weeks. The deadline is tight and it has been hard work but rewarding. The images aren't quite strong enough yet but they seem to be very chuffed there is a still a few more shoots to do.

I took this project on for a number of reasons. It is completely different to any project/commission I have ever undertaken. All subjects are what is considered 'elderly' and the project is looking at old age and how these women feel about it.

When I read this brief I imagined the client wanted 'happy' 'smiley' snaps of women having a laugh but to my relief what they really wanted was just to capture these women...for who they are and show them as real people. They feel that women within a certain age gap are shown in either two extreme ways within the media...a) The beautiful celebrities that have botox and surgery to maintain their youthful look.. or b) the vulnerable, helpless and delicate elderly women sitting in wheelchairs in their homes. They wanted to see some different imagery, something that reflects the personalities of these women.

I decided to split the project into many parts, for me the most imperative aim ( to their delight) was for all the women involved to have fun. I am chuffed to say that in the few weeks I have been spending with them, on walks, in their homes, on location and at the pub with a G&T I feel that they trust me and that we really have a laugh.

This project really has reminded me that if anything as you get older you get younger because these women have no fear of making fools of themselves and having a bloody good laugh..( give 5 women in their 70's a wheelbarrow, sit back and watch the scene unfold)...

I am grateful to Clare, Rosie and Naomi the organizers, Toby my assistant ( and Mark for the sofa) and of course the ladies for really taking to the project and trusting me.

image of the week...Tim

2010-03-12T15:41:00.000-08:00

ooooooooo... just in time, 23:59pm...

Like kids we clambered into the woods and embraced the unbelievable chill to see if the supposed haunted beauty of Paradise Woods in Eastbourne would treat us to a suitable background. Unfortunately it seduced us in under false pretenses and sadly didn't quite live up to it's name. A slope crowded with beautifully stark branches however did catch my gaze and we tested for a bit before dashing back to the cocoon of an overheated car.. (literally a womb). Tim was great, conquering the chill and his natural gaze was right up my street.

We then hooned it onto the downs to reccy a possible spot for a shot I wanted to do at sundown overlooking the town... however excitement and adventure got the better of me and I forgot that my 1 litre (ok just under 1 litre) couldn't tackle the dirtroads and craters of the track...

This was on a shoot for The Guardian Weekend... a tale of the dark past of Rupert Thompson and his eventful life in Eastbourne. Rupert and Ian , as expected, were lovely, patient and a great team and I really enjoyed working with them.

We finished the shoot in a cafe at the end of the pier as the sun began to die. Helen made us a lovely cup of tea to heat our chilled bones.

A lovely day seeing as much of Eastbourne as humanely possible in a day that flew by followed by a drive home with great company.. my thanks to everyone for their hard work, brave survival skills and to my car for actually missioning up that slope....

many images of the week...

2010-03-05T00:41:00.000-08:00

So for my sins of being a day late I am posting a few images from a commission (a few similar shots)

Sat tel shoot of Russell and his lovely restaurant and the PR Dominique who kindly sat for me briefly. Without an assistant and with the rush of time and hurried dance of waiters and restaurant staff manically preparing for a busy day I had to work quickly but calmly...coffee helps.

So I also did a shoot this week for YBN which didn't work... I guess it goes to show that the only way to get good images is to realize when they don't work, seek advice, learn from it and remember that it doesn't work every time. It's never time or money wasted even if it feels like this. So perhaps these positive mumblings are a reassurance to my self esteem and will help ease the pain of my pocket and heart. I get a sick feeling of frustration, anger and disappointment when I review the images after a personal shoot and it doesn't work ...as it is always my fault. It is no one else s responsibility but mine to ensure that despite subject and location I will produce something arresting....then comes the fear... the negative questioning..will this work ? Is the whole thing crap? Am I just shite? Is it boring? Insignificant? ...Nothing can soothe this demonic crud in your head like the calming voice of your mother motivating you forward and reminding you that there is only one way to get the images you want..in the words of Nike..just do it x

Image of the week... another naked treat and a fab review of BJP...

2010-02-25T15:06:00.000-08:00

Firstly about the image..

This is James . What a lovely guy, very very very patient and down to earth. He was calm and really quite relaxed. We discussed his nerves beforehand but in no time at all and a lovely mug of tea he was naked in an unfamiliar enviroment with a female photographer he'd met only 20 mins prior....my thanks too James and to Chris for the crack based coffee that I am still currently weening myself off..

There are many things I have been thinking about with regards to improving and developing my YBN project. Firstly I really want to present the subjects honestly and reflect them..not just their nudity; to capture the moment and where that individual is ,not just physically but mentally and emotionally.

Secondly I want to vary my content as well as increase it. Since first concentrating on the project seriously I have avoided bedrooms as a location whenever possible as I don't want the images to hold any sexual connotations.. however it is imperative to me that I am presenting the truth. And for a lot of young naturists the sanctuary of their bedrooms is the place that they feel most comfortable and spend most of their time in the buff. ..hopefully my awareness of this will mean that if there are opportunities to shoot elsewhere I will purposely choose them... so anyway here's James..

A slightly longer post than usual as rather than just chuck another naked pic up I'm gonna vent a few things...

Now I'd like to say thanks and congrats to BJP... As I walked into my agent an enthusiastic Bridget shoved a copy of the latest BJP in my face and shouted "Look have you seen this?".... shocked, I snatched the double page bleed and gushed... so ta guys I am delighted...

On a similar note that evening I went to the launch of the new monthly BJP... The event was wicked with ample amounts of free booze (always goes down a treat) and many a great folk who I haven't seen in a while, I had such a good night. Plus, I self consciously flicked straight to the feature on my work in progress YBN to read the interview. 2 features in 2 current BJP's... what else can I say than how honored and grateful I am to Simon, Diane and all the gang at BJP for being so supportive and generous.

Everyone I spoke to commented on not only what a great decision it was to go monthly but how brilliant the mag looked and the amount that is in it. I am genuinely impressed and think they've all done themselves proud...

Right,rant over... x

image of the week... a commission this time..

2010-02-18T14:29:00.000-08:00

Thought I'd make a change and put up a commission this week..This is Shaun. He is in the process of building a farm for alligators and currently has many a gator in his back garden. The shoot was for the Guardian weekend and despite limited options I really enjoyed the shoot and Shaun was a lovely guy. My thanks to Owen my assistant for the day and to Shaun and his family for their time and patience. I also got a rare opportunity to hold the little mite and I have to say it was pretty weird..like holding a sausage with chicken feet...x